15 year old son won't use a mobile phone

[Longley]

I’m worried about my 15yo ds as he won’t use a mobile phone. I think he does have friends at school but as a result of not wanting a phone, he has no contact with them outside school and never meets up with them. He plays for a basketball club 3 times a week but apart from that and going to school, he never leaves the house. He enjoys using his tablet to watch YouTube and likes to play on his PS4 but just doesn’t want to use a phone. He is very shy and quiet. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all but I’m worried that he’s missing out on doing “normal” teenage things. Whenever I mention it to my friends they just tell me I am lucky he doesn’t want a phone. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

It’s you that has the issue. He sounds admirable to be honest

He sounds very sensible.

It doesn’t seem to bother him at all

that is the only part of the post that matters. He is happy, he enjoys his club.

Id thank my lucky stars that he isnt exposed to all the shit that comes with it. He's social and out 3 times a week. See if he wants to join something else like scouts for social interaction but he sound perfectly happy.

Who is he playing with on the playstation? Often the boys connect more with their friends on gaming platforms than they do by phone.

Would you prefer it if he was hanging around in a gang assaulting people and filming it on tiktok? Involved in drugs? Carrying a blade?
He sounds as if he is doing what HE wants, not what people think is the norm for teenagers.
Leave the poor lad alone FFS!!

I've got a very quite and shy 15 year old too.
He does have a phone, and does get invited to stuff - except 95% of the time he turns them down.
He is very happy, goes to 2 different activities (once a week each), doing well at school, and gas a great bunch of friends who welcome him when he wants company.

His brother is the complete opposite - social butterfly. Its just who they are. Forcing company on someone who doesn't want it isnt going to fair well. Let him be.

He is outgoing enough to be in a sports team so it sounds like he can be sociable and interact when he wants. He just seems to choose the way he socialises. When you see some of the dross that comes up on teenagers social media feeds, you can see why he might not want to waste precious social time reading " fluff" on a mobile phone!

He isn't sitting on line, he isn't entering troll like toxic conversations, he isn't becoming an influencer, he wants to interact with humans, talk and go to clubs.
This is a good thing.
What is he missing out on? Facebook, tiktok, instergram & trolls?
Be thankful.
I wish I could do this.

Thanks everyone. It’s not the social media aspect that I’m worried about him missing out on as that can be very toxic. It’s more the socialising with friends aspect and missing out on things. But you’re right - if it doesn’t worry him then I should try not to worry too.

Don’t push it my guess is he doesn’t have many/any friends and having a phone that never rings highlights this

leave him be

my mum used to be like this always going on why aren’t you out playing with friends “ I’d love to be haven’t fucking got any “ and I pretend I didn’t want to
I was happy left to my own devices but my mum going on used to highlight to me how lonely I was

My 15yo DS is similar. Like yours he has a sporting activity that fills 2 weeknights and one day at the weekend, apart from that minimal going out. He does game - but not online.
DH worries, but I’m more relaxed. He’s happy and has friends, but home is his decompression space.
DH works from home, so needs social interaction at the end of his day. I have a very social, busy, high adrenaline job, so need to decompress after work and at weekends and I think the social demands of school do take it out of DS.
I focus on the positives- he has no interest in social media which can only be healthy. He has told me some of his friends are using recreational drugs and he is steering well clear of that.
For me as long as he seems happy in himself, is engaging positively with learning and keeping active, then that is enough.

👊🏽🫡👏🏽