What would you advise teen girls re relationships today?

[JFDIYOLO]

Our local cafe is staffed by mostly students. We were chatting about life the universe and everything and hearing some of their problems I got to thinking about what I would like to tell girls - but am not sure how to say this!:

Don't centre your life around men / boys. Too many men think women's purpose is to centre, serve and please them. Centre and grow yourself.

Never get involved with a man who:

You know is married

A married man who claims they live separate lives even though they live in the same house - this may come as a surprise to his wife

Comes straight from his mum or his ex - there will be Expectations that he's getting a replacement. Only once he's learned how to adult function by living solo or with friends.

Has dependent aged children. You will become the default free nanny and his attention, time and finances will always be split and this will become an issue if you then have a child with him.

Wants you to give up your education / training / career / job to be a SAHM. You'll be vulnerable.

Asks you to send nudes.

I'm sure there's more ...

Never date (or continue to tolerate) someone you’d warn a friend / sister not to (be that for relationship drama, addictions, money management, or whatever).

“Partner” means more than sexual attraction.

Love yourself first, strongest and best.

Id also suggest for younger people - it isn’t (always) that deep though. That’s not to say the feelings aren’t valid - just sometimes the fun is enough, and the mistakes need to be made so you grow strong enough to chuck the duds back.

Don’t send nudes. Ever. Even if you’ve been together years. People can turn very nasty during breakups.

Don't drop your family, friends or hobbies for a relationship.

Madonna was asked when she had her daughter what she thought would be most important in her child’s upbringing. She said ensuring that her daughter had healthy self respect.

I believe she was then asked what she’d tell her daughter about men. Madonna apparently said that if her daughter had self respect, it wouldn’t be necessary to tell her anything about men.

Do not stay when he says ‘it won’t happen again’. It will, more because you’ve ‘allowed’ it.

Not being in a relationship is preferable to being in any old relationship

You do not need a man. At all, ever. If you find one who brings something to your table, great. If they take more than they give, no. And, NO is a complete sentence. If, at any time, any man does or says anything you are uncomfortable with, say NO and walk away. Immediately. There are good men but you have to sift through an awful lot of shite to find them. Don’t settle.

Women were not put on Planet Earth to service the needs of men.

Yes. #bekind is FAR less important than #beSAFE.

I would far rather a young girl offend someone and remain safe than be kind and end up dead.

Never let anyone take a photographs of you that you wouldn't be happy to show to your granny. And never take a photograph of yourself like that either.

Be very careful who you have children with

You don't "Need" a "partner" (male or female). Only get involved with one who will enhance your life.

Put yourself first, be selfish if necessary, and be confident in yourself.

Don't push friends, family, hobbies, etc., aside for any partner.

Get yourself the best qualifications possible and build your own career.

NEVER ever be dependent on any partner, whether financially nor emotionally.

Make sure you're confident with your own finances, career, etc BEFORE having a child.

I agree with this. A framing I like is "choosing your child's other parent is by far the most important parenting decision you'll ever make, plausibly more important than all other parenting decisions combined"