Do your 13 year old girls go out much?

[peachykeenjellybean1981]

My DD is 13, suspected ADHD. She is loving, generous, kind, chatty and bright.
she struggles socially and has issues at school with her group of friends. One or two of them are lovely, but the rest she just feels tolerate her. They seem to forget about her and don’t invite her out. One of the girls is her ‘best friend’ but she tends to go with the group and doesn’t include my DD.
They have a WhatsApp group which my DD was initially part of but chose to leave as they sent over 100 messages a day.

she did find another group just before Christmas and she thought she’d found ‘her group’, but one of them decided to bitch about the others and then blamed my DD so she went back to the original group.

she never gets invited out or spends her evenings chatting on the phone to her friends.

she seems happy enough and is happy going into school.

Maybe I’m more concerned about it than she is.

anyone else worry about their children’s lack of friends?

As long as she’s happy enough and happy going to school it sounds okay. Are there any clubs you could sign her up to with girls outside her usual groups? Any family members or children of your friends you could gently encourage friendships with?

She has a bestie but she lives an hour away so we only see them during holidays. Most of my friends have different aged children or live too far away. She does start clubs but loses interest quite quickly so doesn’t go back.
I have 2 nieces but they’re 8 and 10
I’ve tried to gently encourage finding other friends but she finds it hard

I too have a 13 year old daughter with diagnosed ADHD. She definitely struggles socially. She is kind and funny but I think she can be too much for people. I worry all the time about her as she never gets invited anywhere and never wants to have anyone round either. She does have friends but nothing seems to extend beyond the school gates. Other girls her age seem to be going to parties and hanging out at friends houses/sleepovers etc but my daughter hasn't been invited to a single party since she started secondary.

I could scream whenever someone says, " what about signing her up to clubs". She won't go to clubs on her own, but she has nobody to do them with, so she just stays at home all the time. I don't have any advice to give OP, but it's shit and I really worry about her, so I get it.

So my autistic daughter was like this at 13. She’s 16 now and has just started socialising outside of school. She doesn’t like what’s app groups and finds them too overwhelming but that has always meant she’d not be invited out. More recently she saw her school friend group posting online photos of them going out and she complained she wasn’t invited. We had words and I told her to ask to join the what’s app group. She thought it was rude to ask but when she did she was included.

My other DD is 13 now. She’s never on. She’s suspected adhd and can’t sit in the house and do nothing. She’s only just found friends to go out with this last year though. She was seeing people sporadically prior to that but this last year has really taken off and she’s never home.

Thank you for replying.
I just feel like she hasn’t found her people yet. she seems happy enough and is definitely a home bird. She is very attached to me and we do spend a lot of time together. She hates large groups and would be miserable at a large sleepover.
I too worry that sometimes she can be too much but I suppose the right people will love her for it.

Dd is 13 with autism/adhd and doesn't go out much, despite being invited quite often, as she doesn't want to.

She will go along to an organised day trip somewhere (theme park, museum etc.) but has no desire to 'hang out' as she sees it as pointless. Her friends seem to accept this quirk.

She does enjoy her clubs, especially swimming and karate, but that is because she enjoys the routines and predictability of what will happen there.