Dealing with peer group

[solerofan]

Dd is in year 8 and there is a lot of going ons at her school. Everyone seems to be dating, some are snogging or more at school during break and drinking and vaping at parties. Dd is still playing with lego occasionally, likes BMX and is very much still a child even though she is in the midst of puberty.

She is hearing stories about girls in her form having 15 or 16 year old boyfriends who they secretly meet, friends who have secret second phones and she came home from school saying there is gossip that a girl in her year group is pregnant.

There are fights between boys who like the same girl and girls who like the same boy. Is this normal in KS3? What do I tell my dd, she was so shocked that a girl in her year is pregnant at 12 😮I know of a local girl at a different school getting pregnant at 14 and thought that was horrid but 12 is just awful. How can I guide dd through this crazy peer situation? Changing school is an option but I want to know if this happens across the board before looking into this.

Pregnancy in children that young is extraordinarily rare. That being said it does happen. I'm an ex teacher and most year 8 students aren't vaping and hooking up etc. Some do but it should be a minority. Do you know any of the other parents to get their perspective? If these behaviours are in fact happening this is a school that has lost any safeguarding credibility or at the very least has a cultural problem. I would pull my child our in that case. There is the possibility that your child is very innocent to the world and seeing one child in her year vaping and assuming its widespread. I think you definitely need more info but I would absolutely be concerned.

That was how my School was I the 1980s, although obviously some pupils were not behaving like that and I managed to stay with them.

If DD can’t find anyone to socialise with who is behaving differently then I would discuss swapping schools with her as this is very much not our experience with our DC. Yes there was a minority of pupils who were on the wilder side but the vast majority didn’t behave like those.