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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Daughter struggling with demanding friendships and sadness at 15

5 replies

Beanonymous · 30/04/2026 11:06

My 15 year old daughter is really struggling at the moment with friends, she is sad most of the time, the only time she is beaming is when she is with her bf and his family.
I believe this is because she can be herself and not be judged, because when she is with her friends they moan when she is sad and moan when she is happy and messing around, and when she is sad or ill her friends always say she is faking it.
She has one best friend who does everything with us, holidays, days out etc. But when we do anything with anyone else we get moaned at.
Her friends always come to her when they have an issue with other friends or boyfriends, and she will help them in anyway possible, but when its the other way round they say its not all about you and hardly listen or change the subject.
My daughter also gets moaned at because she doesn't like going out, because all her friends do is walk the streets and stalk there boyfriends, seeing who they are with and if they are chatting to other girls etc. Now I have a parent asking me wouldn't she go out for a little bit next week as everyone is going out, only because I have her daughter at my house after school, her daughter has fomo and needs to check her boyfriend isnt up to anything.
Her best friend will also stalk my daughters location, where are you going, who are you with.
We are both struggling at the moment with her sadness all the time.
She is a worrier and gets on with her friendships because she doesn't want to lose anyone.

OP posts:
Batties · 30/04/2026 11:08

Is She year 10 or 11? My eldest found life a lot easier when she left high school and went to sixth form college.

Beanonymous · 30/04/2026 11:45

Batties · 30/04/2026 11:08

Is She year 10 or 11? My eldest found life a lot easier when she left high school and went to sixth form college.

Year 10

OP posts:
ChristAliveHelp · 30/04/2026 12:45

Tell the “best friend” that it’s not healthy to be so relilant on one person and from now on the hoildays & days out will be stopping for them and to stop stalking your daughter otherwise you’ll take it up with their parents.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/05/2026 06:57

Talk to your dd about people pleasing and boundaries. Give her some scaffolding. How to put good boundaries up. The authentic self, different sorts of boundaries - pourous (that’s where you put some up but allow them to be eroded, rigid (unbending and manipulative), healthy (what you’re aiming for). It sounds as if she needs to back off from the moany friends. https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/boundary-styles There’s also a link on this page for tips for setting boundaries. And tell her to expect push back. And to stand firm.

Boundary Styles | Worksheet | Therapist Aid

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set in a relationship to define what is acceptable, and what is not. Boundaries are influenced by our values...

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/boundary-styles

ThisAzureStork · 01/05/2026 09:01

Sounds like she needs a new friend group, maybe her joining some sort of club could be good?

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