dd16 is due to go to her first proper concert tonight- very excited! She had a few friendship issues recently which she has handled really maturely and I’m so proud of this. She definitely has earned a special treat!
dd18 was due to take her (she is a seasoned concert goer and seemed to be looking forwards to it) and had even agreed to take her younger sister shopping this morning to help her buy an outfit. Younger sister was really looking forwards to this as she craves attention from her sibling but it isn’t always forthcoming. Now older sister says she doesn’t want to go to the city as it’s not a place she knows well and wants to go to an alternative place of her choosing. It hardly seems fair at this late stage to change plans and younger sister doesn’t want to go to the alternative as she is likely to see people from school. Sh also wants to go to a shop only available in the city.
dd18 does have anxiety but is perfectly capable of going shopping in new places by herself (she does it on holiday in New York and Paris).
Sh is so bad at doing things she doesn’t want to- she will stick in her heels and you just can’t reason.
Has anyone else got experience of this stubborn refusal to do anything they don’t want to? I’ve tried explaining that as an adult you often have to do things you don’t want to.
We have spent years navigating a smooth path to help her anxiety but I fear we’ve created a young adult who is stubborn, self absorbed and spoilt.