Teenager behaviour

[Bigbird38]

Advise needed.. since the start of the year we have been dealing with my teenage son who has fallen out with his friends, there shows no sign of the friendship being sorted. Currently in year 11. Due to this fall out it has effected him mentally and emotionally- my husband and I have been trying to support him by getting him professional support in therapy which he stopped as he couldn’t be bothered to walk there, he has missed so much school due to his mental health. We have been walking on egg shells but get told we are ignorant to how he feels. I purchased so much gcse revision guides to help with study but not interested, we have got him a gym memberships to help with mental health but moans too far away. He is miserable and rude to us and my patience is wearing thin. He has recently been offered an apprenticeship which is amazing, but my son does not care… it makes me so mad.
due to the stress and his behaviour towards me I have lost a lot of weight and not sleeping well.. I am now at the point where I have had enough. He is not helping himself and throwing away a great opportunity for a future career. All he goes is sit and watch tv all day and demand food. I really now want to say get on with it, you are making zero effort and making me ill in the process- how much as a parent should we put up with?? Is it time for tough love? He says he is depressed but I think using this to get his own way..

Definitely time for tough love.

He sounds horrible to be around and I’m not surprised you’re feeling stressed.

Stop enabling him and tell him to start behaving himself. He sounds lazy not depressed 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for replying. I know he is feeling really down but as a parent how much should you take! He is effecting the whole family.. we are being kind and supportive but just get rudenesses in return. The turning point was him calling me a C**T last night….I have had enough 🥲

Stop pandering to him.No wonder young people nowadays lack resilience when their parents run around after them like this.

Yes this is what I am now thinking.. but feel
so conflicted! But I know we have tried to support him as best we can. Time for some tough love. Thanks for replying

I feel maybe I remember your thread (if you did post one about this issue) If this is how he behaves when people aren’t pandering to him no wonder his friends have stepped away.
I feel at this point it’s really up to him, if he fails his exams it will be a huge wake up call.
He absolutely needs some rules. He doesn’t get to ‘demand’ food - apart from maybe dinner, he can sort his own out or go hungry. He should also be pulling his weight while he’s at home, presumably for Easter break? I feel he’ll soon get bored when everyone stops enabling him.

Thanks for replying. He is such hard work!
everything we have tried to do to support him and he just doesn’t care.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. We have tried to have many conversations with him about how he is feeling. He has told us he doesn’t want to talk to us..we have tried gentle parenting, asking how we can support. I think he is depressed, we have been to GP who referred us to cahms, there is a year long wait list for support. His moods and behaviour rules our house. We can do nothing right. We talk calmly we get accused of talking down to him, we give him space we are accused of being ‘ignorant’ to how he is feeling. Not sure where we go from here..

Thank you for your kind words.