What time should 15yo come home?

[Ginismyfriend]

Having a dispute with 15 year old DD (year 11) about what is an ok time to be out on a non-school evening. We live in a small, touristy city which is generally pretty safe but with a lot of stag/hen dos on a weekend. They mainly seem to hang out in fast food places or just roam about the city centre (I’d not be so worried if she was at a house/cinema/etc). We’ve been saying 8.30pm home but she’s pointed out that that’s completely arbitrary because it’s dark before then and all her friends are allowed out until 11pm. Am I being too strict?

I am quite lax in comparison to some parents. We live in a very low crime village and from year 11 onwards, I let dd go out and about locally very late as long as she was with at least one boy - I’m talking friends btw. However, a city is different and wouldn’t have been with my dd age 15 roaming around our local city with no plan until 11pm.

I let her go out in the local city from part way through lower 6th, age 16, as she then had an ID of someone over 18. She doesn’t like alcohol much so I didn’t have those issues and she’d just be having a Pepsi. But she was therefore safer in a pub rather than on the streets.

I know there are 15 year olds just roaming around our city btw as dd has told me this and some alto have acquired IDs.

What is it like where you actually live? Could you compromise with allowing her back at 11 as long as she stays more local?

8.30 is very early.

mine were allowed out much later however they were usually at sports practice/music rehearsal/scouts/cadets etc which often finished at 9/9:30 and then with the walk home they were back by ten.

parties and similar they usually slept over at the host’s house (rural area).

8:30 is very early.

I wouldn’t let a 15 year old wander aimlessly around a city till 11, sounds like asking for trouble! It’s different if they are out doing something specific… cinema, bowling etc.

On a non school night I let my 13 yr old stay out till 10pm.

830pm is incredibly early for a 15 yr old.

Thank you, this is helpful. If she was a club or someone’s house I would have been agreeing to later, it’s the roaming around a city centre when all the drunk groups are out and shops are shut that bothers me. I have suggested she stays more local but appreciate that at least in town they can sit in McDonald’s whereas nearer the home they’d be sitting in a bus shelter like I used to do at the same age!

8.30 is way to early . As long as you know what area they’re in and what they’re going to to be doing ( macdonalds etc) . It’s a gradual escalation until they reach 18 and can be out until whenever much they want ( following house rules).
I ve been very pro in allowing freedom when they’ve been ready and as long as they are honest , show me I can trust them etc.
sit down and have a chat with her. Share you concerns etc and let her explain her side of things etc and then decide together what a good time would be and why .
maybe you can suggest a trial period see how it goes .

Eh? 8.30 was my time to come home aged 8 or 9!

15 was nightclubs and fast food places after that. I think my official curfew was 3 am.

SO SO much better in the 90s to have been a teen! 💯

By year 11, especially heading towards summer and lighter nights, mine were out until 11 or so, although could be later if they were at a party or something. That wasn’t in the town centre though, just our local villages, which could be hanging out in the couple of parks in the woods where all the GCSE leavers go, or the 24 hour fast food joints. I always knew where they were though, and how they were getting home, either being walked by friends or whether I had to pick them up.

10 or 10.30 maybe? I say that as a teenager who was allowed out til all hours and I don’t think it was a good idea

The issue is where she is: They mainly seem to hang out in fast food places or just roam about the city centre - this isn't really ok.
If she was at a friend's house, watching a film, or at a club then much later would be fine.