Teenage mess

[FriendlyGreenAlien]

I generally stay out of my DD’s bedroom. She’s 17, it’s her space and I try to encourage independence.

I’ve just been in, at her request, to email her something she was working on for a project.

Untidiness is one thing, I’m no neat freak myself. However the desk, bin and floor are absolutely overflowing with rubbish.

Reading her the riot act will get it cleaned up but how on earth can I persuade her to see it rather than see through it, and deal with it before it gets to this stage.

Oh I know. I don't know how they can stand living like it. There's barely any carpet visible.

I have the same problem with my teen, I know a lot of people on here say it’s their space and let them be & they will clean it eventually, but I just can’t! My DD14 never gets to a point where she will clean it from her own initiative. She can accumulate 7+ cans of pop in her room at any one time & would still go to the fridge and get another without bringing any of the empty ones back out. Frankly I find it a piss take & I can’t not say anything!

Yes - sounds familiar, but I let her off a little as she has just been diagnosed with ADHD and is studying for A levels like crazy…

… but when things are really really bad, I threaten to start smelling her clothes to see if they are dirty. She usually takes action when I hold up a pair of undies and threaten to smell them! It is our running joke. Works every time.

I found the same with my girls , when I sat down with them to talk about it it came about that once it reached a certain point they got very overwhelmed with the mess and didn’t know where to start so they ignored it .
I started to remind them before bed to put rubbish in the bins, washing in the basket and pots in the kitchen before they went to bed as part of their bedtime routine like washing their faces and showering (something they didn’t need reminding about) .
This actually worked for them after a while because if they didn’t spend 10 minutes on their nightly routine i switched the WiFi off and took the tv remotes away so they learned just to do a quick tidy up before they went to bed .
They really loved getting up in the morning to a tidy room that spurred them on to make more of an effort their rooms .
once a month i helped them have a proper clean with sorting out drawers and wardrobes and a full room tidy .