Dd behaviour

[trampolinebounce]

Dd 16 is absolutely horrible has been for years but its now escalating. Police involvement for shoving a girl in school. Shes always nasty to the younger siblings. F-ing and blinding shouting the whole time. Putting holes in walls. Throwing stuff.
She has adhd but this seems to go beyond that. Nothing is ever her fault. She wishes everyone dead. I've tried counselling and therapy. She either dosent engage or talk her way out of it. Tried backing off (she comes looking for an argument)
I see school refusal coming soon. She keeps being late in a non panicked way so not adhd time blindness more doing it for reaction.
I dont know what to do with her. Bar basically ignoring her completely.
She said not one word to me on mother day morning until it was time to open my presents from everyone and shes shouting at me calling me a cunt. She waits for maximum impact. So not a loosing her temper thing.
Tried to watch a film with her last night at her request and it ended with her throwing a creme egg at me because I reminded her that she had school in the morning.

Im worried the impact on the siblings I dont know how to protect them and dd

Is she medicated for adhd? So much of what you’re saying is because of impulse control.

Is it really? She is medicated it helps with concentration but the nastiness is still there. Shes mostly fine at school.
She on methylphenidate and something else in evening cant remember what.

Sounds identical to my 14 year old daughter. Tonight I've had stuff thrown at me because she missed her meningitis shot as she refuses school. I get she is stressed due to the news down in Kent but she treats me with such blind hatred.
she is medicated ADHD and she has family support worker, psychologist support and a place at a smaller school but she refuses to engage with any of it.
her 9 year old brother has to put up with the violence (not to him) and verbal abuse and I've had enough.
she's the loveliest child when things are going her way, but one thing that doesn't go her way and she is terrifying. I'm sick of this way of feeling it takes over everything.

Yes im glad to not feel so alone. I just dont know where the nastiness has come from. Its the spite as well.
I could tell her to go live with her dad but she absolutely Hates him and hasn't seen him through choice for five years. He also wouldn't be the greatest influence on her.

I just need to get through a few more years I hope she either calms down or moves out

Ok so you know she's being horrible

Medical side hormones play havoc with their medication. What version of methylphenidate is she on? As it can increase aggression. My asd/adhd was awful on it. We switched to elvanse and combined with a none stimulant and he became much calmer.

I also give medication when they still are in bed on a morning. I wake them and they take it there an then. Half hour or so to kick in then avoids morning time blindness.

Yeah my dd was like this as a teen. Also adhd.
meds helped but honestly time was the real answer.

I stopped hassling her about anything unless I absolutely had to.