Self pierced Helix piercing

[Flowersharriet]

I understand that piercing your ears yourself at some point is pretty much a right of passage.

DSD has recently been somewhat of a handful in general with her behaviour, however has decided to pierce her own helix over the weekend. She’s 13.

This was done using an ice cube and a normal butterfly back earring.

I’ve urged DP to get her to remove it for 2 reasons - partly because we had already said no to having one at her age and allowing it to stay, I feel almost means no repercussions for her actions - but I do understand that she would probably redo it anyway

Mainly though I’m concerned on the infection risk now - the actual piercing method she has done by forcing it through presumably not in a heartbeat like a professional would do, the jewellery she has in it being a normal thin earring with butterfly back (I would presume that as she’s done with a normal earring we can’t force a larger gauge piece through it) and the infection risk now moving forward with it being cartilage. I did suggest to DP it might be better to remove now so it heals before any potential infection - less risk of it leaving a mark and she can then have it redone once she is old enough.

I’ve researched as much as I can, and with the method she has used it’s likely that the skin was roughly pushed through as opposed to cleanly pierced. It’s been done and left with a normal earring in it which isn’t the correct gauge which can apparently in itself cause issues with swelling and irritation. Also I’ve read the butterfly backs can become lodged. And generally the area being the helix with low blood flow and it generally being a riskier slower healing area means it’s more prone to issues - and less receptive to antibiotics

DPs attitude is that she’s done it now so it may as well stay as she will only do it again - which I do totally understand and it’s her body her choice. Ironically if she had waited a little longer we would have taken her to a studio to have it done professionally once she was a little older with parental consent. But currently I feel like we are sitting on a ticking time bomb waiting for an infection issue and on that note he quite literally will not listen to my thoughts.

If she had just added a couple more holes into her ear lobe I literally wouldn’t have any concerns!!

Does anyone have absolutely any knowledge or expertise in the area of piercing who could advise?

Since when is self piercing a right of passage?

That said I'd leave it. Or go to a salon and pay for them to check it.

I recall doing my seconds in my teens!! A lot of my friends did too. I didn’t keep them in long though - school didn’t allow anymore than 1 stud in each ear.

That said DSDs school don’t allow anymore than earrings at all - possibly a matter of time now before they insist she removes it anyway but so far she’s determined to keep it hidden behind her hair

I was quite square and my parents said I wasn't allowed a piercing till I was 18 by which time I didn't bother!

Maybe all the kids do it now 🤷🏼‍♀️😬

I really don’t mind ear piercing as long as it’s done when it’s at an appropriate age. DD has her earlobes both twice pierced done at a salon.

I just honestly didn’t expect either child to attempt to do a cartilage piercing with it being essentially a thicker harder part of the ear

As mentioned - she’d asked and we said no and she’s just gone ahead and done it herself

I think your dp has a more realistic understanding of how much control he has over a 13 year old than you do.

Fully accept that removing it won’t stop her redoing it - but in terms of infection risk - that’s what I’m bothered about. His parenting of her in general is a different matter altogether - this is not an isolated incident but one of a long list of issues we have dealt with lately and yes I do appreciate - you choose your battles

As I understand the area that has been pierced has a 40% infection rate when it is pierced correctly using all the correct equipment - so my thoughts are the infection risk must be higher with the circumstances

How about taking her to a reputable piercing studio, and asking them to take a look/reprieve it with the proper tools and jewellery and tell daughter you’ll use her future pocket money to pay for it. Ie if it cost £40 and she gets £10 per week, then keeping 1 month of pocket money. If she has to remove it because of school rules, then that’s a natural consequence.