18 year old DD & Boyfriend

[Whatsgoingon85]

Looking for other people’s thoughts please.

18 yr old DD left school last summer, currently not working or in college. She has had a few p/t jobs but she never lasts more than a few weeks. She stays in bed most of the day and doesn’t do anything in the house and I mean nothing at all! I’m just finished tidying her room as the house is up for sale.

Her Boyfriend is the same, not working, college etc, he also is 18.

She is now receiving UC as I couldn’t afford to keep giving her money.

I no longer allow the B/F to stay or come in as they were taking advantage of not leaving her room for days. If he wasnt staying he was leaving around midnight and it was just disrupting the whole house.

What do I do as it’s become so awkward but this is my house and yes my daughters home but not a hotel to just come and go and lounge about when the 2 of them don’t do anything at all.

Am I too harsh? My mother thinks I am but she’s not the one doing the running around after 2 adults.

Two options....start helping out or look for somewhere else to live. Simples .yes I have children your daughter's age....we all muck in together. There house and home so they need to look after it

On looking on here before posting so many people are dead against asking them to leave home but I’m seriously knackered and mentally worn out. It’s also having a bad effect on my relationship with my mum and husband. We have discussed this so many times and nothing, not even a plate washed.

I don't think you are being harsh enough! It's awful that an 18 year old claims UC and lazes around in bed all day. I would start dishing out some tough love ASAP.

@Whatsgoingon85 sit them down with a cuppa and have a really good talk. If nothing changes after a agreed time scale (for example 3 months ) then off they go. You have to be firm with them both or they will keep taking advantage

I would say the boyfriend isn't allowed in your house at all until DD is either in education, training or employment. Where did she get the idea it was a choice to do absolutely nothing with her life?

Sit her down and tell her that she needs to find a job & keep said job for x amount of time before her boyfriend is allowed round again.

I really don’t know as I have a f/t and p/t job and husband is 50 hrs p/w.

I now feel bad with helping her with UC but I had to do something.