Teen sensitivity or something more?

[lightandmodern]

DD 13 (school year 8) has changed so much, pretty much over night.

She used to be such a happy, calm, resilient girl with real grit and a positive outlook.

Lately, though, she seems to feel victimised quite often. She says she’s being ignored by the adults who lead her hobby, gets stressed easily, seems more insecure and is generally much more emotional than she used to be.

I really don’t want her to see herself as invisible and unconfident and I’m struggling to work out how much of this is genuinely happening and how much is teenage sensitivity. Essentially she is full of self doubt when she used to easy going and content.

What has happened to my calm and confident dd? Any advice would be welcome.

Could be just hormonal? Check in with her and remind her that you're there if there's anything worrying her.

I also think hormones are part of it. It's just worrying when their confidence is replaced by self doubt and feeling invisible.

I'm sure this has been asked many times before but what can parents do to help them stay confident and happy at this sensitive stage?

She already has a bunch of hobbies. One main one where she feels she is being overlooked, as if she isn't even there when others are recognised, praised and given opportunities. She objectively knows she is doing pretty well in this activity but due to the lack of any positive engagement from the adults she feels worthless and doesn't enjoy it as much. Still loves her friends who also go there and doesn't want to give it up.

She has felt overlooked before, especially in priamry school when all the confident kids got all the opportunities. But then I used to say it will get better when you are in high school and it did, she mostly gets on well in school. She loves the hobby and would hate to quit but also is upset to feel like she doesn't matter any more.

How do you support confidence in a 13 year old?

Bumping

She needs to learn how to advocate for herself. She has to do this on her own, it’s a skill she has to develop and she will grow with confidence once she masters it.

This book can help her find the right words

https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/products/smart-girl-s-guide-knowing-what-to-say-book-patti-kelley-criswell-9781683370758?sku=GOR009991294&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17428061960&gbraid=0AAAAADZzAIAH8tk-FV8nIttq2fvSvXRsb&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2ujWp6GHkwMVopJQBh0AHgHgEAQYBCABEgKV-PD_BwE

We have that book! I'll dig it out but felt it was for a younger readership.

Any other tips to encourage them to self advocate? Or not be to bothered by external validation?