Lack of college engagement with parents

[JessicaBrassica]

DD is y12. She is at college doing a T-level.

I have asked if there is a parents' evening or reports so we get some feedback.

College have advised that I can look at her student portal to see attainment and targets.

She was happy to show me. It only documents her absence records and a summary of both of her 1:1 tutor sessions which focus on her wellbeing rather than course, participation, attainment, progress etc.

I asked if we would get any guidance about target grades because we were looking at post-college options and they told me she can go to the careers centre for advice.

Clearly college regards parents as an irrelevance.

Most of her old friends are at a different college doing A'levels. They do have parents evenings etc.

I stayed at school for A'levels so I have no idea what is typical. Anyone advise me?

My son did a levels. There were parents evenings.

my dd went to FE college. There was no communication with parents at all on her course.

This basically 16/17 is a funny age

God the world is different for 16-18 year olds these days. In the early 1990s my parents barely knew what A levels I was doing and my ‘6th form college’ certainly didn’t do parents evenings. We were expected to be responsible for our own work and be able to drive and motivate ourselves. After all we had a choice, we were adults and we were going to be at Uni in a few years where you have to be accountable for yourself.
I have very supportive parents and I now have two degrees and am in a senior professional role. I noticed people who couldn’t deal with university or indeed with working life afterwards (and didn’t do very well) were the ones who were came from highly structured ‘school’ type environments who simply couldn’t cope with the lack of constant direction, feedback and hand holding by ‘adults’. I see it now with our junior staff too, to the extent I seek out those who have learned and succeeded in less structured environments.
Check in and be supportive but encourage the independence and responsibility and accountability for their own work.

Your dc's college clearly don't do parent's evening style communication.
It was one of the reasons I preferred my ds to do 6th form. We had parents evening, careers discussions, 1-2-1s if needed. Getting such information from a 17yo is not easy.

Thanks.
She is bright and independent (other than needing transport and money) but at this stage doesn't really know how to figure out what options are open to her.
@benten54 in the early 90s my parents had termly reports and 2 parents evenings a year through my A'levels so I don't think it's a change in time, maybe a different kind of setting.

I accept that vocational courses are different.

It's just odd going from a world where you can get information to one where neither she nor we know what she's expecting to get. Maybe if she applies to uni next year they will tell her if she's on target to get enough UCAS points...

I really wanted my son to stay on and do A levels at his school for this very reason. But he hated his school due to low level yet constant bullying and wanted to leave. He could have changed schools - we’re in NI and this is very common for sixth form - but he chose to do engineering at college. There is absolutely no parent involvement unless your child is falling way behind. I met the course leader at enrolment and he got both DS and me to fill in a form giving permission for me to be contacted. I haven’t heard anything, yet I know he’s zoning out in class and struggling with coursework due to his ASD and ADHD. His school would have been all over this. It’s very frustrating. DS likes feeling independent, but sadly he’s not very good at it.

My DD is at a vocational college. We did have a parents evening last term. Otherwise, very little feedback/involvement compared to school.

Although I am able to easily contact her tutor with any problems and they are very responsive.

I have had similar issues with college for my (suspected) ASD DS. He also had constant low level bullying at school, and has been struggling socially at college (and now it seems academically too).

I have contacted college and the pastoral lead on a number of occasions and I feel like I've been totally fobbed off. It feels like if my son needs help then he'll have to ask for it himself, which he definitely won't do.

I’m sorry you’re in a similar situation. Both with the history of bullying and the current situation with college. It’s really hard. My son was only diagnosed during the summer (after a 4 year wait) and didn’t want to access Learning Support. He felt it was an extra thing to contend with, rather than a help. There’s no talking to him! Then his CAMHS therapist managed to persuade him to fill in an online form to make contact with Learning Support and he missed the flipping appointment they set up because he didn’t check his emails. Totally to be expected, considering his condition, yet really annoying as he keeps promising to reschedule it, then forgets. I have offered to phone the college, but he doesn’t want me to. He says it’s not really the done thing. It’s so frustrating.

I hope you manage to get something sorted. Is your son open to being formally assessed for ASD? It may help him understand himself, even if support is patchy.

Thank you, yeah it is hard! I'm sorry about your issues and it's really difficult when they are treated as almost adults but in reality they are quite far behind their peers emotionally.

My DS isn't open to getting assessed at the minute, he doesn't want to be 'different' and is in a bit of denial unfortunately.

My DD is at agricultural college. We get 3 progress reports and option for a parents evening phone call each time.

The A level 6th form colleges no news is good news. If you are asked to attend its because they aren't happy.

@JessicaBrassica She must get grades or marks for her work though? She must know if she’s doing well, or not. Hope she is! Get her to share what she’s doing with you and talk to her about success and where she thinks she needs to improve. Not sure FE ever had parents’ evenings. Personally I think they should but they are not regulated the same as schools. I’d also look at any handbook they issue and check their careers guidance. They should have something for students.

Nothing so far. She had a couple of informal tests last term. She says she's doing Ok. No grades reported on the student portal.
No books or work comes home. I'll see if she will log into Moodle or whatever they use and show me what is on there. I genuinely don't know if anything has been submitted. She's very defensive when questioned.

I still feel at 16.5 I have a right to know how she's getting on and college have a duty of care to inform me if I ask.

Her friends all seem ambitious and know what they want to do afterwards so I believe that any work set is being done.