How not to let your teens mood affect you

[Happyteens]

Not sure how to start this. DD15 finds school hard, she said she doesn’t really like school, finding draining. She has a mild learning disability. She gets really down at times, I try to be there for her, supporting, loving, etc. helps help pull through; when she is in a low mood it really impacts me, I feel I need to solve the problem, keep everyone happy which I know is not right. It has taken a impact on my mental health too so I have started going to the gym a few times a week which helps me a lot.

She asked for Therapy which she is going to have soon. I am not sure if there is anything else we can do, my anxiety levels go up when she is in a low mood and I feel like I am always checking for her moods.I want to detach a bit but be loving and supportive at the same time.

Any advice welcome

The best advice I've ever seen re parenting teens was to realise that sometimes they need you to be, essentially, like a houseplant. Be there. Be stable. Be clean air. Don't rush around getting into things where it's not necessary.

This is much easier said than done, I am well aware.

Thank you. I need to work on it as it steals my peace of mind and I get into flight mode.

Have you had any therapy? Is it does sound like you need it too.

Re: your daughter. Does she have a time out pass to attend a quiet space at school when needed? Is she year 10 or 11? If 10 is there scope to drop a subject and instead attend the SEND room in that time? And most importantly, is she exercising herself regularly? Can you both go to the gym?

Watching with interest as my eldest is similar.

Sadly he is also so so negative. He catastrophies EVERYTHING and is so negative and it's killing my mental health.

My natural state is to be thankful and positive and he's chipping away at it.

We are loot into this. Thank you

It is soul destroying when they are down and so negative. DD has good moments too and goes out, socialise, etc. but lots of self doubt at times.

I will look into therapy for me too.

We are speaking with SENCO to see if she can drop 2 subjects. She is in year 10.

My youngest is also similar. He is seeing a therapist now and I've started CBT to help me deal with stuff as I had started to catastrophise too!

But I am so so drained with the negativity and the daily issues and dramas.

Teens are going through a roller coaster of emotions and it's so hard to live with.

I just think you have to let yourself stay happy and think its good for them if you don't get pulled into the tidal wavenof their emotions.

You cant pour from an empty cup as the saying goes. Make sure you have a life...see your friends....do things thst bring you joy