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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teens always in bedrooms

18 replies

Worriedaboutteens · 17/02/2026 18:02

Just looking for hopeful reassurance that this is normal!

My teens 14 and 15 just seem to be in their bedrooms all of the time they’re at home. They do do sport and meet up with friends every so often but if they are at home they are in their rooms. One watching Netflix and one scrolling on their phone or hammering away at the piano.

They will join us for meals, if I suggest a film they’d watch it or play a board game (for my benefit I imagine) and we have a good relationship generally but it’s always on my mind that they are holed away so I can’t even enjoy this new found freedom.

It’s just a shock the house being so quiet these days with everyone doing their own thing more or less.

OP posts:
TartanMammy · 17/02/2026 18:07

It's normal, in fact sounds like yours are doing pretty well:

  • they do sport
  • they see friends
  • play piano
  • join your for meals
  • watch films with you!
  • play board games!!
  • you have a good relationship

Honestly some down time amongst all that's I good thing and very age appropriate.

Denim4ever · 17/02/2026 18:09

Usually, parents moan if kids monopolise the sitting room, lounge

usedtobeaylis · 17/02/2026 18:09

Totally normal for their age

ArcticSkua · 17/02/2026 18:10

This sounds really normal to me OP. It's funny how quickly it changes from them wanting to be around you all the time to suddenly not needing you at all! Keep up with everything you're doing (meals together, movie nights etc).

BigBrownBoogyingBear · 17/02/2026 18:11

My 16 year old DS has recently started spending more time in his room with the door closed! He's sometimes revising (GCSE year) and sometimes playing games on his phone.

DS13 still hangs out downstairs with me, but probably not for much longer!

DS16 will also join us for food/games/film.

Our piano is in the lounge so I see them both when they're practising!

parietal · 17/02/2026 18:12

Mine are the same. I have to organise activities to get them downstairs.

they will help with cooking so we do a lot of baking pizza making etc.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/02/2026 18:12

Totally normal.

Original poster
Worriedaboutteens · 17/02/2026 18:15

Thank you this really is very reassuring.

I think someone hit the nail on the head. You become used to them being with you all the time and it is a big change.

I will definitely try to relax a little more about it.

OP posts:
Ferfeckssake · 17/02/2026 18:15

Yeah. But I think I must be reliving my youth as I like to go there too. No interruption and peace and quiet.

cramptramp · 17/02/2026 18:19

I was always in my room at that age, weren’t you OP? The only time I sat with my mum was when there was something I wanted to watch on telly. This was long before the internet so the only entertainment in my room was my record player, transistor radio and reading.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 17/02/2026 18:21

Don’t you remember being this age OP? I spent all my teen years in my room. Isn’t that what teens do?

Original poster
Worriedaboutteens · 17/02/2026 18:24

I probably did! I didn’t have a great relationship with my mum so wouldn’t have spent time with her anyway so maybe this is colouring my vision.

OP posts:
Luckyingame · 17/02/2026 18:29

So what?

TorroFerney · 17/02/2026 18:32

Worriedaboutteens · 17/02/2026 18:24

I probably did! I didn’t have a great relationship with my mum so wouldn’t have spent time with her anyway so maybe this is colouring my vision.

I think you've hit the nail on the head op - you are projecting, they are in their rooms as that's normal but you are assuming they don't like you. I find with a teenager and I am from a dysfunctional family I have to have a word with myself quite a bit that she is not me and I am not my parents.

I can sympathise. I can also remember getting told off by my dad as a teenager and made to "come and sit with your mother" by my dad , who was going to the pub yet again, I assume so he didn't have to.

Original poster
Worriedaboutteens · 17/02/2026 22:16

TorroFerney · 17/02/2026 18:32

I think you've hit the nail on the head op - you are projecting, they are in their rooms as that's normal but you are assuming they don't like you. I find with a teenager and I am from a dysfunctional family I have to have a word with myself quite a bit that she is not me and I am not my parents.

I can sympathise. I can also remember getting told off by my dad as a teenager and made to "come and sit with your mother" by my dad , who was going to the pub yet again, I assume so he didn't have to.

Show quote history

I’m sorry you had a tough experience too.

I think you’re probably right.

It makes you realise how short true childhood is. As they say, the days are long and the years are short. You blink and they barely need you Smile

OP posts:
ItWasAllADreammm · 17/02/2026 22:20

Wish mine would spend some time in their rooms I still get followed around like they are toddlers can’t even nip out without them wanting to come either, enjoy the freedom

sickofsixseven · 17/02/2026 22:28

Yes its normal. Mine only comes down for meals and the odd chat but never wants to watch anything together 😔. She might have a game of uno or something occasionally. The main time I get to see her is in the car when I'm driving her around to whatever place she wants to go to lol

PatChaunceysFruitCake · 18/02/2026 08:28

Oh gosh, yes, mine do this.

We got back late last night from a couple of days on a city break. We had a great time, they are fantastic company. I’m now very much looking forward to a day pottering about whilst they are in their rooms 🤣

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