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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Struggling with my 13 year old daughter

6 replies

MyHappyPlace15 · 11/02/2026 19:37

Hi. It’s my first time posting on here but I am really struggling with my 13 year old daughter. She has always been quite a difficult child - very stubborn and strong willed!

She is behaving very badly in school - to the point I am getting phones calls and emails from the school on an almost daily basis. She isn’t violent or aggressive but is very disruptive. She often refuses to go to lessons or will just be wandering around the school when she should be in lesson. She will also argue with her teachers.

I have reached out to my GP who put me in touch with an organisation called the Space wellbeing hub. They asked me to complete a form so that they can decide whether she requires an assessment.

I strongly believe she has ADHD. The school has also told me she has a lot of traits associated with ADHD.

I understand that obtaining a diagnosis is an extremely long process. I also would not want to use it as an excuse for her continuous bad behaviour.

My husband and I have tried everything to get her to behave in school but nothing is working. Every single day we speak to her about the importance of behaving but she just doesn’t listen. We have also tried taking privileges away such as her phone.

She has already moved school once. This was partly due to us moving house and also because she didn’t like her previous school.

I am at a complete loss at what to do to try and correct this behaviour. If anyone has been in a similar situation could give me some advice it would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/02/2026 19:40

Sorry you are going through this, I know some of my friends have paid for a private assessment as the wait for these things is so long - people shouldn’t have too but if you can afford it and it then means things can be put in place it might be worth considering.
of of my colleagues daughters has adhd and one of the things she loves doing is writing a journal to express her feelings.
which part of the uk are you in?

MyHappyPlace15 · 11/02/2026 19:44

Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/02/2026 19:40

Sorry you are going through this, I know some of my friends have paid for a private assessment as the wait for these things is so long - people shouldn’t have too but if you can afford it and it then means things can be put in place it might be worth considering.
of of my colleagues daughters has adhd and one of the things she loves doing is writing a journal to express her feelings.
which part of the uk are you in?

Thank you for your reply. I am based in South Wales.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 12/02/2026 08:52

You can get a free adhd assessment through right to choose from your gp. The waiting lists for this age is not too bad. We waited about 6 months. https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/

Geneticsbunny · 12/02/2026 09:08

Apologies, that info is for England not Wales. Hopefully there is something similar for Wales?

Rainraingoawaydontcomeback · 12/02/2026 09:11

How long has this been going on?

I’m guessing she is fairly unhappy. You can’t use adhd as an excuse but medication and adjustments in school will make it easier to manage. As the school believes she has ADHD they should be treating her as if she has ADHD. What adjustments have they put in place?

Can you afford private assessment?

AtIusvue · 12/02/2026 18:40

Has she made friends since she’s she been at the new school?

I would focus on this issue, as this could be the link she needs to behave at school- following her friends and not wanting to get int trouble, her friends talking her round etc.

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