DD 14 doesn’t want to camp with us

[Snowdrop2615]

So we are due to go to a festival this year. 14 year old said if she’s not allowed to
go off on her own then she’s not
coming as it’s too embarrassing to be with us. (We are actually really cool 😆) I would let her go if she saw someone she knew during the day but not at night. She’s very tall and beautiful and frightfully naive but obviously knows everything there is to know about the world which to me is a terrifying combination. I also know lots of people who have all unrelated told me that the teenage girls are a nightmare there and it doesn’t feel safe for them to be roaming at night. Also she’s only 14!

so we then said is there somewhere u would like us to go camping this year u can choose where we go and we can ask other families if u like and she’s just said it just all boring and she doesn’t care. We do so have an 11 year old DD too so we want things to be fun for her but this does taint things.

She is just negative about everything. do we just ignore for now and hope she becomes more enthusiastic in a couple of months or is this my life now till she’s past teenage stage.

its so hard you try to do everything to ensure they are happy and healthy and safe and they don’t thank you for it!!

any advice from teenager survivors 🙈

Well firstly, I agree with not letting her wander off at night at a festival, that would be madness. Even female adults I know who go to festivals stick together - phones often don’t work because of the number of people there so it could be very risky.

When ours were teenagers if one didn’t want to come on holiday (it did happen a couple of times when the eldest was 14/15 and we had a touring caravan) she was able to stay with her grandmother. Is that an option?

What about if she was to bring a friend? A buddy to hang out with..?

Which festival is it?

Teenagers bring change and it can be difficult to adjust particularly if you want to please everyone. They also notice what all their friends families do and want to be more like them to fit in and be part of the crowd.
So with that in mind, I say kindly, 14 year old girls don't ever think their parents are cool and they never are. They want to hang around with friends not you.
They also don't want to go camping. They want to be with their friends. When they say something is boring they are trying to find a polite way of saying 'I don't like that and don't want to do that.'
So find a way to accommodate that. Can they have a friend come on holiday with them? Or stay with a grandparent?
Or, you need to find a holiday that all the family enjoy.
That's probably not going to a festival with their parents. Sorry.

I have no doubt that you are actually really cool but as the parent of a 14 year old, I must tell you that they are the absolute worst! Don’t take her. Go on your own (maybe take the 11 year old) and take her on another holiday where she will be safe to leave you possibly with a friend.

which festival? At 12&14 we let our DD’s wander around camp bestival with their 2 similar aged friends as long as all 4 returned to us by 7/8 o’clock and we saw the headline acts together, the lure of money got them back, though dd1 did head back to the tent with my friends youngest a couple of times as they wanted to make pot noodles (go figure???) they had phones and my dc were pretty streetwise compared to many dc as they lived in the city, used public transport at night alone etc. I’m actually bemused how naive I see youngsters where I now live are

Loving the range of responses it’s nice to know a lot of you are on the same wavelength as me 😆 think I probably feel a bit guilty knowing we will have a much better time of she doesn’t come anyway. I think i just know that she probably would have a great time if we did as one of u suggested and she could roam in daylight then come back to us for the evening but she doesn’t want to do that.

we have booked a short break to Alton towers so it’s not like she’s not getting to go away I guess it’s just that transition from always doing everything together to her now not wanting to and it’s a big adjustment to make!!

thanks for replying sometimes u just need someone to say yep I get ya and it makes u feel a bit better! 😊

My DD is 26, and I still remember the epic meltdown she had aged about 14 on I think the 22 December because she didnt want to go abroad and stay with very close family friends for Christmas. From memory she had just started her period. I was a single mum so didnt have the option of leaving her behind, I thought she would come right but I just crossed my fingers she would, and she ended up having a good time.

Now she's an adult we go on holiday together, we went to Italy last year and had a fabulous time, even better, we split the cost! Hang in there OP...