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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Advice re 13 yr DS

8 replies

everydaysaschoolda · 31/01/2026 14:50

Looking for some advice please. My DS 13 has turned into a grumpy rude entitled child. He has had a PS5 for a couple of years no problem till recently. Over Christmas he was on it all the time playing Minecraft with friends, he can’t play with strangers or communicate with strangers so no safety worries. The weather was awful so couldn’t get out much so I did let it slide. When he returned to school I realised there was a problem, he didn’t want to do anything else but be on his PS. Homework not been done, low level disruption at school etc. we had a big chat and set some rules, we typed them up and signed them. We were doing quite well (still occasional back chat) with accepting less PS time but this weekend it’s all kicked off. He had a few behaviour points at school then a detention set so the rules stated he doesn’t get any screen time for 1 night. Last night he accepted it and we had a nice night, played board games watched tv etc. We had a family activity planned this morning, which he was looking forward to. He woke up and refused to go. I said if he didn’t come there would be no screen time, he still refused so the ban is on today as well. I have now given him multiple chances to earn it back but his attitude is awful, he’s actually told me to F off! I’ve talked to him camly, and I don’t think anything has happened, he’s just very entitled and expects just to get whatever he wants. He is the youngest child and his siblings have always spoiled him, as have me & DH now looking back. He also used to compete in a sport at quite a high level but gave up last year, he said he wasn’t enjoying it anymore. We have tried lots of other sports and activities since but nothing takes his interest, I’m now worried this was the early signs of screen time addiction but I didn’t realise.

Am I doing the right thing banning screen time?

can anyone offer any advice?

I’ve ordered a book called how to raise a healthy gamer so hoping that will help

please be kind

OP posts:
everydaysaschoolda · 31/01/2026 15:11

I also wanted to add, this is really stressing me out. I feel heartbroken about it. We used to be a really close family but he is so horrible to everyone we all seem to bicker. His attitude and behaviour is affecting everyone.

OP posts:
BrentfordForever · 31/01/2026 15:21

Ofc you’re doing the right thing

btw if my kid told me to F off, I wouldn’t be giving him a chance to earn anything back

no way in hell I’m doing anything for anyone who’s showing so much disrespect

Ds is 13 too we ve gone through many ups and downs, but consistency has helped massively

P.S I doubt there is a “healthy gamer” concept. Just effs up the brain

BowstotheSettingSun · 31/01/2026 15:22

Maybe less chances to "earn it back" (he's not 6) and fewer board games and more chores?

Or, if the idea of boundaries and punishment doesn't appeal to you you can always go with natural consequences: failure at school, a nasty gaming addiction and you get treated like shit.

BrentfordForever · 31/01/2026 15:24

Yes the “earning back” is an odd concept for this age

he did the crime so guess what he has to do now …..

everydaysaschoolda · 31/01/2026 17:57

Thank you all so much. DH is working all day and I just needed a bit of a hand hold. It’s such a difficult age. Ill stay strong

OP posts:
BowstotheSettingSun · 31/01/2026 19:22

I think thats a good idea. Obviously you dont want to constantly be punishing him but it's fine to show that you mean business when the occasion arises.

Its also fine for him to be upset and not like the punishment, kind of the point in fact. In a day or two, when the current trouble is over, you (or ideally his father) can talk to him again about expectations around behaviour and what he needs to do to avoid a repeat performance in future.

everydaysaschoolda · 31/01/2026 21:43

He’s apologised tonight and is being really helpful around the house. I told him I appreciated his apology and helping me but he wasn’t getting off that easily! I told him actions speak louder than words and he needs to keep up the good behaviour at home and school if u wants rewards. We’ll see how it goes this week. Fingers crossed I’m getting through to him.

OP posts:
restforu · 31/01/2026 21:46

You are actually parenting your son and he will turn out a great guy because he has a strong mum who doesn't yield to his say so thank you 👏

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