Alarms

[SquishmallowSquad]

My son wants to wake up earlier; he claims he does not hear alarms though (which is true because he never hears the ones I set) has anyone had a teen that says they don’t hear alarms? What other things can you use? I don’t want to keep waking him when I get up as it’s later than what he wants to wake up at.

There are alarms that have a vibrating pad which goes under the pillow. I use one due to being hard of hearing.

I think this has to do with how children sleep. It's pretty common. DS had the same issue but I've noticed he's getting better and better at it.

He set multiple alarms for different times - that only works fi he even hears them in the first place though! :) Also, we'd set an alarm on his alexa as well as his phone.

Quite often we would come down and wake him after the alarm had been going off.

I think it's a bit like how we all tune out all kinds of sounds a lot of the time at night, but, for example, as parents (mothers especially) we wake up when children need us. DH doesn't tend to wake up with noise, but will wake up if someone knocks on the door - it's like we basically have to train our brains to respond to certain signals while sleeping.

When I was his age I had an alarm and got up myself for school my mum never woke me so it’s not something I’m use to.

Thanks I will look into this

I think the issue is the invention of the snooze button. People aren’t used to getting up as soon as they wake up, which all the studies show is better for you. People hear the alarm and keep going back to sleep nowadays. My dd did it last week. She has 3 snoozes set but got up late as she didn’t realise her 3rd snooze was the last one

He doesn’t use snooze, he says he doesn’t hear it at all

My lovely DD’s alarm wakes me up & I can’t sleep through the noise through the wall so I have to get up to tell her to turn it off… drives me mad!! 😡

Ds is 19 and just doesn’t hear alarms at all, never has done. He sleeps like the dead! I set the smoke alarm off directly outside his bedroom door on holiday and he didn’t stir. I was ambulanced away in the middle of the night the other week and he was oblivious until he woke up and saw his phone, despite the door bell going, the dog waking most of the street up, and the paramedics who weren’t exactly quiet. It’s extremely frustrating when I’m away for a few days, as, if I need him to get up for anything in particular, I have to drop in on Alexa and yell until he wakes up! I don’t know what the solution is, but I’m hoping he gets better one day, or I’m going to be his alarm for ever and it can take a good 15 minutes of poking him and calling before he actually opens his eyes.

Me. I don't hear alarms. Even before I had a phone I could turn off the alarm and get back into bed all while asleep.

Wake up lights are great

I've been looking at the vibrating wristband alarms for mine, who can sleep through any number of alarms. He sets three on his phone and three on Alexa for days when he absolutely has to get up, and I still have to go in there repeatedly.

Try an old fashioned mechanical alarm clock with bells on top. They are much louder than digital alarms. My Dad, who did shift work, used to stand his on an empty biscuit tin to add extra volume.

Like this:

Great thread.

DC1 is like this and it's causing quite a challenge in our household as without being repeatedly woken up by firm knocks on their door over the course of a morning, they just wouldn't wake in time to get up for school. Add to this that they're blunt as hell and bloody rude when first woken up, every day (sort of sleep-talking in a kind of un-dead drone: "Leeeeave me aloooone! Go awaaaay!") it's stressful. They insist that they can't use their phone for an alarm as they need to turn off notifications overnight lest their night owl friends keep them awake with random messaging, but I don't think this is necessarily how it works -surely the phone alarm function operates independently of message notifications?

DC2, who hitherto has sets their own alarm on Alexa for 6 am and bounced out of bed, has discovered 'snoozing' and I can see this becoming a problem.

I'm definitely going to investigate vibrating pad / light alarms. And I suppose they must eventually grow out of it?

Yes notifications can be muted separately from alarms on phones.

It's not a hard and fast rule but later sleep cycles, combined with difficulty waking up and difficult mood while waking up can be indicative of adhd.

Obviously teenagers and not everyone etc etc

Using a daylight alarm clock combined with an analogue alarm clock works really well for me, the light brings me out of a deep sleep so I'm responsive to the analogue alarm. When I'm commuting distances, I use a radio alarm for the same reason and because it keeps me aware of the time - breakfast shows follow the same schedule with features and bulletins at the same time every day.

My daylight alarm has a sunset feature which is good for sleep hygiene and helping to get to sleep and that helps too. I can set two alarms on it so can programme different days or different times on the same day.

@DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira , thank you for your insight. DC1 is autistic, and I have suspected, also has ADHD, although the NHS pathway only allowed us pursued one clinical assessment route and we were literally asked to choose which one.

They definitely have tended toward late sleep cycles since infancy and so much of our lives has been focused on trying to align the rest needs of all family members. It's not that she's particularly active late in the evening, but rather that she doesn't feel 'bed ready' until much later than the rest of us.

I have tried to insist on the phone alarm vs notifications thing, but DCs autism makes for a degree of determination, insistence and certainty unrivalled in the general population and outwith my capacity to argue against.

Off to research alternative alarms.

You need this.

https://amzn.eu/d/4Joem1o

Had the same issue with my DC, they wake up now!

@ACommonTreasuryForAll good luck with finding a solution that works for you and them.

It's only now in my mid 30s I've started to find my sleep cycle has become earlier. I think one of the reasons for my late cycle is because the evening is the quiet time I have for me, when there aren't any demands on me or my time and I've noticed others who are ND say similar (the bed ready feeling).

A few years ago I adopted an evening routine of reducing the light I'm exposed to, 40w bulbs in lamps, warm light only, gradually reducing screen brightness on all & any devices as the evening goes on and utilising the blue light filter on my phone from 10pm (I can set it to automatically come on). Reading a book instead of social media and TV later in the evening helps prime me for sleep too.

Now I find if watch any TV past 11pm my sleep is really disrupted!

The old truism of exposing myself to daylight and fresh air in the morning helps too, even if its just opening blinds and windows.

My family know I'm grumpy, even a bit combative if I'm woken too early, and give me space first thing and thankfully don't take it personally!

You could also look at sleep tracking watches which identify the best time in a sleep cycle to wake up - might appeal to their ASD.

@DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira Thank you, those adaptations are really interesting.

My DS didn't hear alarm clocks when he was a teenager either. We got him 2 of those mechanical ones with the bells on top mentioned above. Used to put one next to his bed and the other across the room where he had to get out of bed to turn it off. Thankfully he seems to have mastered the art of waking up to his phone alarm now he's an adult.

Alexa or similar can wake him up with a series of voice notifications and music.