13yr old Son curfew and boundaries

[PeppyRoseSnake]

My 13-year-old son is super sociable and always wants to be out with his friends, which I love… but honestly, with this freezing cold and wet weather, I’m just not comfortable with him being out late all the time.
His mates are allowed out until 8:30pm on school nights and 10:30pm on weekends, and that just feels really late to me for 13 😬
Plus if I cave now, where will I stand when hes older?

He keeps telling me I’m being strict and that “everyone else is allowed,” which is starting to wear me down.
I don’t want to be that mum, but I also don’t feel right loosening boundaries just because other parents do. How are you all handling curfews at this age? Am I being unreasonable, or is this just part of the teenage stage?
He already goes to the gym & has only recently out grown scouts. He plays football locally so trains once a week, which keeps him busy then. But I just hate the idea of him roaming the streets/local park in the dark.

Would love to hear what works (or doesn’t!) for other mums ❤️

Wha on earth is a 13 year old doing at 10.30pn?

Not. A. Chance my 13 yr old would be out Monday - Thursday.

and Friday - Saturday - certainly not our roaming the streets unless I know at a friends house or cinema

Mines 15 and a DD - week days it’s 9 weekends it’s not later than 10. Seems about norm with her other mates mix and boys and girls. I do have her on life 360 though do you? Might make you feel a bit better you know where he is?

Also she rarely goes out mid week

Yes using 360. Great until phones die 🙃

I wouldn’t be comfortable with my 13 year old out that late in the dark nights on a school night. Wouldn’t mind if round someone’s house or so much if it was summer.
what about homework?

What are they doing when they are ‘out’?! I have a 13 year old DD who goes to school and to her sport hobby. Occasionally she will go shopping with a friend at the weekend but doesn’t hang around in the evenings otherwise. It’s quite young for that isn’t it?! Maybe that’s just me 😅

So these just turned teenagers are roaming the streets Friday and Saturday night until 10.30. And out after school until 8.30pm

This is pretty much the opposite of how I parent my 13 year old.

So these just turned teenagers are roaming the streets Friday and Saturday night until 10.30. And out after school until 8.30pm

This is pretty much the opposite of how I parent my 13 year old.

So these just turned teenagers are roaming the streets Friday and Saturday night until 10.30. And out after school until 8.30pm

This is pretty much the opposite of how I parent my 13 year old.

Till 8.30 every school night? No chance. Ds age 16 doesn't go out with his mates every night and was certainly never wandering the streets till 8.30 let alone 10.30 at 13. Midweek, mine do homework, tutoring, music lessons or sport / hobbies, occasionally they go to a friends house. They help clear up after dinner. Have showers. Socialise with us. Do reading before bed. When does he fit homework in? Does he read? Help around the house?

I would 100% not be basing my parenting choices on "but everyone else is allowed to" either.

Summertime is different with long evenings as they approach 14. Winter, at 8:30pm on week nights and 10pm at weekends. As a parent sitting at home wondering if they are safe while also trying to prepare for the next day at work, run a home etc. Not a chance. Also, ‘out’, i.e no plan is not on.. A friend’s house or activity I would consider occasionally in the week.

Week nights are for school, rest, study…and yes, pitching in with chores.

I think that’s late at 13, my DD is 14 and I wouldn’t like her roaming the streets until 10.30pm either!
It would be different if he was actually doing something like going to the cinema but just roaming the streets is silly.
I’d say 7 on a weekday so there’s time for homework and getting to bed at a decent time, and 9pm at the weekends at the very latest

I think this is one where different areas and parents might just not understand each other

My 13 year old is sometimes out this late. Wr have a local floodlit park snd football pitch sometimes youth workers are there...he is there a lot. Even in winter

I prefer my son outside even with the risks involved than endless scrolling snd gaming that he does at home.

I have sometimes let him go with friends even later...I honestly think the screens are more of a risk to teens than being a bit silly with a football out and about.

I know other parents feel safer when their kids are in their bedrooms..I feel the opposite. I prefer to think he is with other kids...being social and in the fresh air even if its a winter evening

In summer I would nave no problem with rhe 10 ish but would want to know where they were.

Crikey, my two aged 14 and 13 are always busy with schoolwork in the week.

My DD14 is 6:30pm latest on a school night and 8pm on a Friday/Saturday. She is at dance & sports classes 4 evenings a week though and what with homework etc she has to have everything else up to date before just hanging out with friends

It's a balance isn't it? DS is fast approaching 14 and in the last few weeks has asked to go out and play football with mates. The park is a five minute walk and the kids he's with are all nice, sensible and weve known them since primary so I'm happy with him going once or twice a week but straight after school and home at 6.30. In the summer I'll be ok with that going a bit later but definitely not 10.30 and definitely not every night.
He goes to cadets and plays padel as well as doing DofE volunteering so I'm happy that he gets a good mix.

9 pm on a school night usually twice a week to sports centre. 9:30pm at weekend