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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

13yo being framed by her friend

29 replies

Snuggleloto · 17/01/2026 03:59

So, my daughter has a friends, let’s call them Apple and Cherry. Apple was dd’s bff. Apple edited Cherry’s photo and posted it on whatsapp. Apple told Cherry that it was my daughter, who did it. It happened last Oct, and somehow this spread out and my daughter was harassed by other kids in verbal and text. Her responded was only telling them to back off, this has nothing to do with you, leave me alone.

out of nowhere, last week dd was called by her teacher, apparently Cherry reported her (Cherry was there too). When the teacher accused her, she told the truth that it wasn’t her but Apple. So the teacher called Apple as well. The moment Apple saw DD and Cherry, she started crying. And when asked she denied it heavily. Under pressure from the teacher, Apple and Cherry, DD admitted and apologised. the teacher called me and notify me about what is happened.

i talked with DD and i believe her. She also show me her phone. Then we managed to found a message from Apple asked DD to told Cherry that the one who edited her photo was my younger son. Dd refused, and Apple said “ too late, i already told cherry and she didn’t believe it, she think you did it.” Dd was upset and asking why did you do that, Apple said if not Cherry will be very angry at her.

I emailed the teacher all chat records as proves and ask the teacher to investigate it and clear dd name. It has been 3 days but no response from the teacher. She also didn’t call dd to ask about the situation. So how long should i give time for the teacher to response? Or should i escalate this to the head of school?

meanwhile, apple was telling everyone else that dd backstabbed her, push the blame to her and humiliated her in front of the teacher. And dd experiences harassment from others again

OP posts:
GotMarriedInCornwall · 18/01/2026 09:01

Isthisthisreallife · 18/01/2026 08:46

I’m a teacher and unfortunately it now is the school’s responsibility too. DfE advised schools to include it in their policies. Online incidents are rife thanks to parents who allow their kids to have these devices/apps too young with absolutely no supervision. I’m primary school and we deal this on a weekly basis

I’m secondary and we don’t deal with incidents that happen outside of school.
Maybe because of their age it is different, but we would generally advise parents to report online bullying/issues to the police.
Obviously we manage the pastoral side by supporting the students, but we wouldn’t investigate or sanction.

BlossomOfOrange · 18/01/2026 09:12

Activity has now taken place on school grounds with teachers, Apple has lied, your dd has been wrongly accused and mistreated. Each needs to be addressed at school now and I’d be calling the school to discuss how, given the amount of upset caused. I wouldn’t engage the parents at this point.

Isthisthisreallife · 18/01/2026 19:44

GotMarriedInCornwall · 18/01/2026 09:01

I’m secondary and we don’t deal with incidents that happen outside of school.
Maybe because of their age it is different, but we would generally advise parents to report online bullying/issues to the police.
Obviously we manage the pastoral side by supporting the students, but we wouldn’t investigate or sanction.

Oh really, that’s interesting. Age thing would make sense but I still think it should be the parent’s responsibility to deal it unless it does transfer into school time too.

Snuggleloto · 19/01/2026 09:17

Despite it is school’s job or not the fact is they already taking action to dd based on Cherry’s report, if this wasn’t part of their responsibility they should ignored it. But they didn’t, dd got her first and only behaviour points from this, so i expect the school to follow it through and treat it fairly by responding to our appeal.

DD only wish is for the other kids to stop bothering her in verbal or text which she received not only on whatsapp but also on teams and message. She doesn’t really care about Apple & Cherry anymore as it seems both of them are in this together, now both of them are BFF

it is not possible to not using smartphone, as her school use smartphone in class either for researching, kahoots, teams, or other apps. She also needs it for her school bus ( tracking and sign-in). Her only social media app is whatsapp. She doesn’t have tiktok, snapchat, ig, fb, etc. she is in y8

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