Teen not eating at school/during the day.

[ZippyGeorgeandBungle2]

DD is 15 in June & recently she’s stopped eating when she’s at school. She leaves the house at 7:50 & won’t have anything until she gets home at 4:45.
I know she doesn’t eat because I can see it on her school account & she doesn’t take anything from home. She claims she doesn’t get hungry but surely she must?? All day without anything??
Ive spoken to her guidance teacher who was very understanding but said unfortunately they see it all the time & that it’s common amongst girls her age, but will keep an eye on her.
She eats a decent meal at tea time but has become increasingly fussy in what she’ll eat after years of being a fantastic eater with a good appetite. When she does snack at home it’s usually nothing particularly nutritional but it’s food.
Those with teens, please tell me this is a phase? I don’t want this to become an issue. She already complains of headaches & being tired & I’ve told her until I’m blue in the face it’s because she isn’t drinking even enough water.
She has an active hobby which uses a lot of kcals which i doubt she’s getting.
I’m just not sure how to navigate this without pushing her & making her retreat even more into her room!

My teen won’t eat breakfast on school days or eat at school (most of the time) she is ND and it is linked to eating around people and also the rush before school when she is already worried about going.

i was very worried originally however i have learnt to accept it. She eats on the way home from school, will eat a meal when home and another one around 10pm. They are not restricted in volume in anyway.

At the weekend she will eat 3 meals - it’s just that she can have breakfast around 10.30/11 so a later start to the day. Again they are good size meals.

It’s so difficult because it may be absolutely harmless “what are teens like” phase or it may be the start of something frankly life threatening. You’ll forgive those of us for whom it was the latter seeming like doom mongers.

in your shoes I would be extremely vigilant for other signs (the not eating expanding / other excuses for not eating / irritability/ asking for snacks like rice cakes and cucumbers / being picky at the one meal
she eats). I would also read the Eva Musby book. It’s an easy read then even if there’s not sm issue you are in the know.

I'd keep an eye on it, but with my DD2 it was not wanting to queue up then having no time to eat and go for a wee. She did eat something at break though and ate a good dinner.

Is there any way she could take a custom made smoothie, u could add some peanut butter for protein or the peanut butter powder. If the braces are causing her an issue i can understand her not wanting to eat at school.

DD is like this but we've managed to get breakfast into her (pain au choc and a carton of juice but better than nothing). She's autistic and anxiety about the school day means she feels she can't eat breakfast, then she has music lessons over lunch and can't face the busy canteen when she is free. She eats well at home but I'm definitely discreetly monitoring.

I thought I had written this - same here!

My DD is like this, she comes home from school and then wants to eat chocolate cookies, chocolate bars, mars bars etc. As long as it has chocolate in it she will eat it. She is also feezing all the time because her body has nothing to burn but she won't listen. She's also short for her age but i don't know if her height is because shes not having enough to eat?

I do worry about her and she knows that but we don't try and force her to eat. We do try and get her to eat without seeming like we are forcing her to. So if we are out someone might get something to eat then offer to get everyone something, she normally has something then. If she wants something like a donut we say you need to have some proper food first, even if its just a small amount, which she normally goes along with.

It's not easy to know what to do to help them.

Hello, OP! Is it because she is concerned about getting food stuck in her braces, and being picked on for it? Alternatively, she might end up spending most of (if not all of) her lunch period queuing up, or could be avoiding it so that she doesn't have to use the (usually grim, in schools!) loos at all during the day, or just too anxious to eat in such an overwhelmingly busy environment. I fell into the latter camp, and was so anxious that I felt full. I noticed that there were others at school who didn't eat, either. Then after school, I'd eat anything and everything, presumably because I felt 'safe', less anxious, and therefore hungry. Also, I could brush my teeth after mealtimes when I had braces. I only started eating at lunch a few months after starting sixth form, which was a much smaller environment, and I felt more comfortable there.

I didn't have an eating disorder, but I do have anxiety, which is worse when I am around huge groups of people.

I would ask. Be open about discussing it and sharing your concerns. Previous posters are right about moving fast.

Eating disorders are horrible illnesses and if you can stop it developing it's much easier than reversing it.

Thank you everyone.
I’ve spoken to her again & again she’s just reiterating that she isn’t hungry but has agreed to have something little at lunchtime. Made her favourite soup yesterday & she had a massive bowl of that when she got in then had her tea, pudding etc.
Her & her friends spend all their time hanging around the toilets, it’s where they meet to go to next classes with each other & I know she uses that time to go to pee cause she’s told me this for as long as I remember.
The braces def cause issues, more her retainer as it gets food stuck.
I remember being a similar age & went through a phase of being terrified I’d be sick if I was eating out. No idea where it came from and I would really restrict my eating whilst out so I didn’t feel full. I can’t remember how long this went on for and what stopped it but I shared this with her last night to reassure her & she was like oh really? But you love going out to eat. She’s had lunch yesterday & today (according to her account) so keeping my fingers crossed. It’s a hard one.

This is similar to us. Weekend meal times are 2-3 hrs behind normal so breakfast is nearer 11am, lunch 3ish… dinner 7/8ish all good meals with snacks. Not necessarily fruit/veg, usually crisps/carbs.

This was me in high school in the 80’s. Lots of the toilets didn’t flush properly and the doors mostly didn’t lock. and all the hard girls hung out in the toilets smoking. I didn’t drink or eat lunch for 5 years. I may have had water from water fountains. I ate normally at home.

i had to use them when i had my period but apart from that i avoided

My daughter 16 would have no issues fasting for long periods. I think she’s a natural intermittent faster, her dad is the same.
I would keep an eye on her and make sure she is taking a good multivitamin and probiotic.

Also your daughter has stopped growing 15/16 for girls. So she won’t need as much food as she did in her early teens.

Never thought of probiotics, that’s prob a good idea. She already has a multivitamin.