DS holiday with GF's family - what should he offer?

[NImumconfused]

First time in this situation, DS19 has been invited to go on holiday with his gf and her parents, just wondering what's appropriate to contribute? He's paying for his own flights, but they're including him in accommodation etc. would you offer to pay a quarter of the whole cost, or to pay for meals or what?

We can't reciprocate the offer as his sister is autistic and would struggle with sharing a holiday with someone she doesn't know well (also would create a bit of a third wheel situation for her which I really wouldn't want).

Suggestions welcome, TIA

Suggest a 1/4 of accom
they will likely decline
respond that you are very grateful and he will bring ample to cover food and activities

We took ds21’s gf with us a few years ago. They were very young really. She paid for her own flight and we didn’t want anything from her family towards anything. I’m not sure they offered but we would have declined. We were delighted to have her and she just ate whatever I made or was happy with whatever meals out we had. You can definitely offer but they will say no. As long as he has money for when they are out by themselves or for his own bits in the supermarket etc.

Thank you for responding, we will offer 1/4 of accommodation, but I'm pretty sure they will say no. They're both students so not rolling in it but he'll certainly have money to cover being out and about.

I guess I'm thinking he's just at that awkward stage of being old enough to not expect the adults to pay for everything, but maybe not with the social confidence to hold his ground if her parents keep saying "don't worry about it" if he offers to pay, which is likely. But obviously I'd hate his GF's parents to think he was taking advantage.

We are taking DS's GF with us this summer both will be 19 by then. We have rented a Villa so her coming isn't costing us anything extra in terms of accomodation. She has paid for her own flights. I won't expect her to pay for anything in terms of food and drink we buy for the Villa and if she comes out to eat with us we will pay. I am expecting her and DS will probably go out to eat by themselves a few times and what they do then in up to them. So basically I'm not expecting her to pay for anything apart from flights. And I'm certainly not expecting her parents to contribute anything or really be involved in anyway.

We have taken children’s partners away a number of times. Would definitely not expect a contribution to the accommodation. Unless it has been hinted at, he has been invited as a guest and I don’t think it’s something you should offer. If they are self catering maybe suggest that he offers to make a meal whilst there (show willing) and brings some bottles of nice wine/biscuits. If not he should probably have enough money with him to offer to pay his share of meals when out although I suspect it would be declined given their ages. Definitely he should offer/insist on getting some drinks a couple of times so that he and they don’t feel he is expecting to be paid for all the time.
Mine are older now and it has evolved to them paying for more whilst away but we always cover accommodation.
Thank you card and flowers on return if they have treated him throughout would be nice.

I would offer 1/4 of accom but if they say no then definitely get him to pay for a really nice meal whilst they’re there.

Thanks for all the responses. No contribution has been hinted at, and I suspect they'll happily pay for everything if we let them, they're nice people and they like DS. I wouldn't worry so much but our family situation makes it harder to reciprocate, so it feels a bit unbalanced. Will definitely make sure he can cover a nice meal and some drinks if they let him, and do flowers etc when they come back.

When I was young I went away with another family a few times and they just told me to pay for dinner for everyone one night so maybe if they've not let him spend any money he could offer to pay for the last night?

Yes, will suggest that to him, thanks.