How to go about 14 yo having a girlfriend. Scenario and in general

[Awksparenting]

So bit of background...
14 yo DS has stayed a couple of times at a girls house which we thought was just best friends and was sleeping in a different room (stay a bit away from each other). Now finding out that this is his girlfriend and they sleep in separate beds but same room.

I dont know how to go about this because...

1. I dont want to have him get angry and upset at us. I want to be able to do it in an appropriate way but with 14 year old that aint easy to figure out.
2. How the hell do i have a conversation with her parents about this. Again appropriate ways of having the conversation.

But also how has people dealt with their teenagers growing up in this sense? I dont know jow to deal with it. Of course they're young but these days kids grow and are more grown up and act(not necessarily are) more mature than I did at 14 😬😬

Just get her on the pill.

Cos it will happen sooner or later....

I think a really really honest conversation with him. Give him a packet of condoms. Tell him you didn't realise they were going out and sharing a room and that you wouldn't have given your permission had you known. It doesn't have to be a telling off it can be a conversation/discussion about what should happen next. He may not have considered that they are both leaving themselves open to feeling pressured to do stuff they're not ready for and that he (and maybe she, I'm not sure) could be prosecuted. You 100% need a contraception discussion.

The truth is lots of 14 yr olds wouldn't even consider having sex. But lots would. And lots would find themselves not wanting to piss the other off by saying no. That needs to be the conversation.

I am amazed that the girl's parents allow this. Madness.

And I wouldn't talk to the parents without talking to him first. It's ok to admit to him this is new territory for you though. Parents don't know everything instinctively do they.

So am I. Thats how it shocked me so much and never even crossed my mind that that would even be happening.

Thanks for your reply.yeah we will talk about it. I mean I never had anything like that with my parents. We have a great relationship but I dont want him to be embarrassed or anything in the future and feel like he has to hide or be closed off about anything

Well knowing what I got up to when I was 14 get him contraception

You say you’re shocked but you allowed your 14yo to sleep at his ‘girl best friends’ house… I would never allow that in a million years. Two 14 year olds of the opposite sex… come on?!

You do all realises that:
A) they may well not be having sex?
B) allowing sleepovers, or not, will have no impact on whether or not they choose to have sex?

Sex doesn't only happen in bedrooms at night, you know.

OP, your best bet is to speak honestly to your child without judgement. Tell him your concerns. Respectfully.