Help with social media

[Londongirl333]

My 13 year old posts alarming stuff on TikTok which has just been flagged up to me. Dramatic stuff about having no relationship with her parents - news to me - some self harm and suicidal ideation messages. Thing is, she mainly is a happy child and always has been - it’s like she is trying on different personas - but has anyone had this experience and how did they deal with it? I want to get her off TikTok but need to have a plan of action before I just barge in and cause a huge rift as she will be horrified that I’ve seen her messages. Advice gratefully received.

I would explain that you have recently realiaed just how damaging social media is for under 16 and then block tictok, Snapchat, Instagram etc remotely on her phone and explain that you are doing it to protect her. Also worth being aware that WhatsApp communities and channels are like forums and social media and might need banning too.

Why are you letting a child use your phone for things you don't agree with?

Why do you need their permission to stop them?

This is all very strange.

Did you ever check her messages? Do you genuinely never look at what she is accessing?

I have TikTok and it's alarming how many teens post deeply personal things there, for all the world to see. I would just tell her the truth and say that someone else told you about the posts. Then discuss it with her. It could have been attention seeking, or perhaps she has some real concerns which are better managed outside of social media.