18 yo daughter, lots of ‘boy friends’

[KatieA1982]

Good Morning.

Looking for help/advice. Or someone experiencing similar.

Our daughter is 18, she recently broke up with her bf just before Christmas. Which she is handling fine. However, she seems to be hanging round with several different ‘boys’
Going for ‘drives’, parking up in lay-by’s.
She assures me they are just her friends. I have explained not to lead any of them on which she understands.
Another issue has risen that she is wanting to stop over at one’s house. She says his parents are there and again just friends, but I have this uncomfortable feeling in my gut that just won’t shift..
Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I am going to reach out to this lads Mum.

Do not reach out to his mum.

She is 18 and can do what she wants, have a chat with her about contraception if you are worried about pregnancy.

She’s 18.
offer support, offer birth control, advise her against doing anything she’ll regret long term, advise her you’ll come get her anywhere any time if she feels unsafe, and to make sure she’s safe as much as she can. Otherwise you have to leave her to it.

She's 18 and an adult. She's behaving perfectly normal. It would be insane to reach out to this boy's parents. It's fine to have rules such as no sleepovers at yours or if she's staying overnight elsewhere she should let you know but you need to back off a little and let her live her life.

She's 18, an adult and can do as she pleases.

Concentrate on maintaining good relations with her so she tells you where she will be and with whom. She has to learn to manage her own affairs as an adult. The days of contacting the other parent as past.

Probably not an awful lot you can do as she’s an adult. How many men are we talking about? Are they friends she’s met from work/ school. I’d be a bit concerned about the parking up in lay-bys- does she know that some people stop at them to watch others have sex? That should be enough to put her off.
Sounds like she’s just enjoying a bit of freedom after her relationship break up.
Is she welcome to bring her friends home?
I personally wouldn’t be calling this guys mum, it will be embarrassing for all involved.
if you know his mum you must have a good idea about who this man is anyway.

You’ve presumably brought her up to value herself, and to know about contraception.

She’s 18 - now is the time she makes her own choices, and knows that her mum is there for advice if she needs it.

She's going to do it whether you like it or not. It probably is new-found freedom after a break up - when I was that age I went clubbing every weekend and snogged a new random (or two) every week - presumably this is the 2025 version of that. I wasn't allowed to bring guys home.

I would lean towards making sure she's on contraception, and be interested in who she's with. Maintain good relations and she'll tell you if something goes wrong. Suggest making sure friends know where she is and who she's with. Having sex in cars isn't very classy, but I bet a lot of us have done it before we were old enough to have our own place. (Good idea from pp to warn her about people watching/filming.)