Teens in SE London in normal schools…

[Nomplemome]

Hiya so there’s a lot of worrying parents in my primary school near Forest Hill area and they are worried about what happens in teenage years, the safety and independence of the kids.To any parents of teens … what’s the lifestyle like for teens do you let them be independent? Are they ferris round in cars alot or under curfew early doors? Where I grew up I had a lot of freedom in a small market town - maybe too much!
if you have experiences of parenting teens in this neck of the woods please tell me what it is like? I have a son if it makes alot of difference I don’t know ….🤷 Thank you!!!

Kids, both boys, went to primary school in Sydenham when we lived in Forest Hill. We moved to Bromley area for secondary schools and to give them a bit more freedom as teenagers, as did many of their class mates. This was 20 years ago….

We have an 18 year old son who went to school in Forest Hill. He didn’t socialise a huge amount until 16 but since then has had quite a lot of freedom. His group of friends mainly hang out at each other’s houses, more recently they have started going to pubs but can’t afford to do this much!

Mine local secondary and sixth form. Can’t say I don’t worry but just take sensible precautions. DC needs to be with friends if going out in eve. If coming back later in the eve I get them an uber on my account. I trust my DC but do worry about the dangers. They need some freedom,

It’s all house parties, occasional gig, going into London sometimes

Oh and we definitely don’t ferry around! They do a mix of buses, tube, uber and lime!

My Son (& daughter) are both teens in Forest Hill and attend the local girls / boys schools. We were really worried about my son going to secondary but he's really blossomed and has great friends and social life and we love the school. They both use public transport these days, I hardly drive them anywhere anymore. I think SE London is a great place for teens to grow up.

They don’t suddenly go out until 1am one day. It builds up slowly. Live in Bromley. Not much ferrying. Lots of bus and train and walking. DD went into London today. DS currently out in Bromley and I’ve been sat on the sofa all day.

Have teens in SE London normal school/6th form. Touch wood obviously but it seems quite safe because they tend to hang around in groups or at least pairs and there is also a huge network of people who know each other or of each other through friends. So if someone misbehaves it's getting round everyone and is not cool. My kids mostly travel independently, bit of Uber, a few lifts, lots of buses and train/tube. Happy to go into town independently. Much better than I expected safety wise and seemingly much safer than my rural childhood where I was walking up dark roads alone or getting lifts in cars driven by other teenagers. Hopefully I'm not tempting fate though!

Thank you all! Appreciate this so much - if any other tips or advice or experiences please let me know. There’s a fair amount of pearl clutching about knife crime but I’ve no idea … some of this I honestly think might be a bit racist rather than real…

Knife crime tends to be (though not exclusively) gang on gang. The crime I’d be worried about is phone theft which is very common. I have zone 2 south London ex teens now entering adulthood and they’ve had a great time. The transportation provides a freedom that you just don’t get in most other places. My sister spends her life ferrying her country teens around. I wouldn’t choose it for the world.

My Dc were teens in S London comprehensives in an area v similar to Forest Hill and not very far away.

They lived normal happy lives. Always walked / took public transport to school. Had friends living nearby so walked / got bus to friends house.

Had no trouble - there was trouble in the area but the sad truth is, for those involved, that it is very heavily targetted around those living on particular estates and drawn into gang activity. If you are not involved, you are not involved.

Street smart - don't have your phone out. Don't stare, or seem to be staring at anyone, always walk away from trouble, sit downstairs on the bus.

The vast majority of people are just normal families with normal stable kids living normal ordinary lives. Millions of us, in fact.

Up to year 9 we mostly drop off and pick up, outings were mainly to friends houses, sometimes shops. From year 10, DD has been going out more with friends in London and further afield. It is hard to let them go but you have to at the end, lots of advise re keeping safe, drugs, smoking, vaping, etc, asking where they’re going and who with, location tracking, keep in touch, etc. as they grow older we will grant more freedom. It is hard and it does causes me some anxiety.

We live in that area and both kids are proud SE Londoners and take great pride in considering themselves to be street smart and savvy - I’ve never been one to give lifts in the evenings, that’s one of the reasons we stayed in London, so they could grow up independently, using public transport. Fully agree with previous comments, that the more serious crimes are unfortunately reserved for those kids who have been born into it, and phone mugging are the things to be most careful of (although my DS did have his bike taken off him at Ladywell fields one hot summers day a few years ago, bit of a hotspot apparently). I consider it to be an honor and a privilege to bring my kids up safely in the city and certainly don’t take it for granted. I think it’s an excellent place to be a teenager.