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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Reply asap . Advice

49 replies

Carol52 · 20/12/2025 09:43

My daughter is 14 her friend is 16. Her mum has asked if she can buy some buzz balks for tonight. The parents are going out so they will be on their own. Never heard of buzz balks and don’t really feel happy but at least mum has asked please advice quick her mum wants to know.

OP posts:
Round123 · 20/12/2025 10:11

’I didn’t realise you’d be drinking alcohol together, if that’s what you want to do you need to be at our house, I will buy you some alcohol (Bacardi breezes/wkd) but buzz balls are too strong, I’ll explain it all (units/%) later, give her a call now and see what time she wants to come round, we can go pick her up if you like’

Pepperedpickles · 20/12/2025 10:12

Taweofterror · 20/12/2025 09:48

It would be a hard no from me. And I'd be rethinking the sleep over too because any parent who suggests buying buzz balls for a 14 year old is fucking irresponsible

Same here. WTF is wrong with people?!

(And yes I was drinking alcohol at 15/16 and I ended up heavily drinking through my early 20s because it became so normalised to me).

MyballsareSandy2015 · 20/12/2025 10:12

The mum sounds like an idiot

Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 10:18

Are you ok? Asking if you should let your underage daughter drink high percentage alcohol unsupervised? Unless I am missing something you need to wake the F up and be a parent. There is no question here

Owly11 · 20/12/2025 10:20

15% alcohol at age 14 that taste like pop? Come on don't be ridiculous. 4% cider maybe on the basis that she would get fed up of drinking it before she got too drunk.

Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 10:22

Am I on the wrong planet? Are there parents who actually sanction buying alcohol for 14 year olds whether its in their own house or someone elses?

BillieWiper · 20/12/2025 10:23

They'll end up sick as dogs all over the place if they were anything like me at 14 given access to sickly sweet beverages that were 15% alcohol. I think the equivalent was Thunderbird or 20/20.

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 10:35

Are you happy with your 14yo drinking?

That’s the only Q you need to ask yourself.

Is she planning on staying the night?

If you don’t want her to miss out and you’re ok with her drinking a bit, perhaps compromise with her and tell her you’ll pick her up at 10pm or something - that way she can’t drink too much and less risk of her getting into difficulties.

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 10:36

Also I personally wouldn’t let my 14yo drinking but I know people who do so I’m not sure if I’m in the minority.

If she goes she is going to drink.

Original poster
Carol52 · 20/12/2025 10:43

Thank you for your messages. I am going to reply and say thank you for asking, however I would prefer her not to drink. We are out tomorrow so I was going to say we will need to pick her up around 11.00. Am I being unreasonable with my daughter

OP posts:
ItsameLuigi · 20/12/2025 10:44

Not buzzballs. They're nice but very strong

Taweofterror · 20/12/2025 10:52

I would be saying no to the sleepover. I appreciate that might be awkward with the mother now but I'd rather deal with the awkwardness than risk my 14yo getting drunk unsupervised. Maybe have the sleepover at yours or say you'll pick her up at 11 or whenever.

If you really think you can't do that then you need to have a good talk with your 14yo about alcohol. Not a shouty lecture but a talk about why you don't want her to drink and the perils and pitfalls of drinking. Work out an exit strategy if she thinks she may be pressured to drink and doesn't know how to deal with it.

WhodunitAgatha · 20/12/2025 11:14

Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 10:18

Are you ok? Asking if you should let your underage daughter drink high percentage alcohol unsupervised? Unless I am missing something you need to wake the F up and be a parent. There is no question here

you sound nice

Ignore this poster, OP- you're unsure because the other parent is so cavalier- I've been there- it's all a learning curve. But trust your instincts.

Original poster
Carol52 · 20/12/2025 11:27

I replied to the the mum and said no. She said no worries at all!

OP posts:
Ivyy · 20/12/2025 11:30

Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 10:22

Am I on the wrong planet? Are there parents who actually sanction buying alcohol for 14 year olds whether its in their own house or someone elses?

Think we’re on the same planet! Not at 14, and a recipe for disaster unsupervised.

winterwarmer8274 · 20/12/2025 11:42

I would imagine the other mum was told you’d be okay with it by her daughter, and was messaging to you make sure (although there is absolutely no way I would have a 14 year old I don’t know drinking in my house when I’m not there).

Original poster
Carol52 · 20/12/2025 17:05

My daughter still wants to stop but I just don’t know. On the other hand I don’t want the mum to think I don’t trust her

OP posts:
Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 18:45

WhodunitAgatha · 20/12/2025 11:14

you sound nice

Ignore this poster, OP- you're unsure because the other parent is so cavalier- I've been there- it's all a learning curve. But trust your instincts.

Show quote history

@WhodunitAgatha sure go ahead ignore me because I'm not 'nice'

Being a parent isn't about being nice, sometimes it's about protecting your child from harm whatever the social cost. If you are unsure about whether to leave a 14 year old child to drink alcohol unsupervised then there are much bigger problems afoot. If you're an adult and more worried about hurting other peoples feelings rather than keeping your child safe I worry what your child may become exposed to over the next few years. Kids will always push boundaries and she may sneak alcohol without your knowledge but to knowingly allow your child to be in an environment that is unsupervised, unsafe and with access to alcohol and who knows what else is wrong and you need to understand that.

Please be a responsible parent and make sure she is safe and comes home

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2025 18:50

Buzzballs and 14yr olds at an unsupervised sleepover ?

Oh fuck.

Original poster
Carol52 · 20/12/2025 19:46

Mum has told the daughter no alcohol. She has bought them a gingerbread house to make

OP posts:
SilverPink · 20/12/2025 20:11

BillieWiper · 20/12/2025 10:23

They'll end up sick as dogs all over the place if they were anything like me at 14 given access to sickly sweet beverages that were 15% alcohol. I think the equivalent was Thunderbird or 20/20.

I lost two days after a few bottles of strawberry 20/20. Even the smell of it now would make me gag 🤢

Adult dd was at a party recently and her friend was chucking up after a couple of buzzballs.

Trepidfox · 20/12/2025 20:30

This is obv a troll post 😂 its gone from buzz balls to a gingerbread house. Well played OP

Original poster
Carol52 · 20/12/2025 23:43

No seriously

OP posts:
MrsPositivity1 · 20/12/2025 23:45

Absolutely not

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