Teens out and about

[Teensoutandabout]

How much information do you get from your teens where they are and what they are up to with their friends?

DD2 has started going out more since starting year 10 in September; she is nearly 15, sometimes friend houses, shops, general exploring. I give her all the warnings of course, keep in touch, have location sharing, ask for some information.

It does cause me some anxiety though as we live in London: sometimes she is exploring further afield. Didn’t have that problem with DD1 as she is more of a homee one, mostly went to friends houses, sometimes shops, doesn’t like big parties.

And do you check their mobiles?

Do I need to chill out? Just pray she is being sensible and keeping safe.

At 15 i did not check mobiles. I expected to know where they were, if plans changed and when they would be home. I did not use location tracking either. We did put in place a when mum can worry time rather than a set time to give dc a bit of flexibility, so they would say if not home by x i could message to see where they were. It is very hard to let go but you have to trust them and hope they do not break that trust.

Location tracking is absolute must if you ask me.

Thank you both.

Yes, it is hard. You just hope they are being sensible and keeping safe

I have never tracked my kids (who are now young adults) and at 15/16 I would ask where they were going and roughly what time they'd be home but that was it. They didn't need to tell me if they changed their minds and were going somewhere else. If they said they were just going out to look at some shops I didn't ask which part of the city they were going etc. I wasn't really monitored as a teen and didn't have a phone and I think it's invaluable for teens to have that period of exploring and getting around independently.

Oh yea, and I never checked mobiles. Not even as tweens/young teens.

I use life 360 to monitor ds aged 15. He has a wide range of friends who he socialises with, I don't know all these kids and they could attend 1 of 6 secondary schools locally. Times have changed, when I was his age my mum knew all my friends, where they lived and which school they were based. Times are different and with what's app/Snapchat/gaming devices friendship groups can be much bigger these days!

DD is almost 16 and going further afield. We ask roughly where she is going and who with. We do have life360 but only use it to help locate each other if we're picking her up. She will use it to find out which direction I'm coming from and wait in an easy place. I don't check her phone and haven't for a few years but we know her pin if we ever had to. She's pretty good and doesn't really go to parties yet so not had any issues. I think I will look at life360 more when she starts driving, just to reassure myself she got somewhere safely rather than bother her. She will likely tell me to do this anyway and means we can help her if she gets lost.

We live on the continent. I let my mid teen daughter travel using public transport, on her own only in daylight hours and with friends up until early evening.

I let her stay later in the summer, but that’s a whole different world in the Med. I do have her location on my phone and I use it to check she has caught a train or bus connection say, because I know if she’s going to a different town or city.

Thank you all. It can be hard to let go; but they need to grow, spread their wings and learn to look after themselves. I wasn’t monitored when I was a teen, I was sensible and responsible. I appreciate my mum gave me that freedom; but with all the things going on these days it can be harder. I want them to be confident, streetwise and independent.

I really need to learn to let go and relax as it causes me lots of anxiety and is not healthy.

This sounds normal ? Since year 7 my son has been out and about ..shops..friends.. park.

I dont believe in tracking. I think it feeds anxiety in some parents.

Thank you. Agree reg tracking, it does cause me anxiety. I think I am going to stop it. Our parents didn’t have a way to do this, they gave us advice, timings and had to trust us.