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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Year 8/9 friendships

1 reply

gamgreat · 15/12/2025 18:40

In your experience, how do friendships tend to evolve in Year 8 , 9, 10?
There’s a bit of tension in my daughter’s friendship group. One of the girls tends to be quite sensitive and often seems to think things should revolve around her. She can be sulky, jealous, quick to bicker, which is creating some friction.

Her mum seems very focused on making sure her daughter stays close with the group, which adds to the awkwardness. They live on our road, and we've known each other since our dc were in junior school, still have younger siblings there. We sometimes chat but she is much closer to the mums of the other girls.

It’s strange because the other girls in the group are frustrated by the behaviour but they all still stick together. It seems like they might be happier in smaller groups, so I’m wondering if this is normal at this age? My dc has been taught to be kind and inclusive but she’s starting to feel frustrated and would prefer to focus on the friends she feels closest to but doesn't feel this is possible. How have others found friendships evolve at this age? Is it normal to stick with a group despite the tensions?

How to be inclusive and kind but also develop genuine friendships? It seems a minefield. Looking beyond my daughter’s friendship group, it seems quite common for kids at this age (12-14) to form larger groups with more superficial connections, although I don’t remember this being the case when I was at school.

OP posts:
FloraBeetroot · 17/12/2025 13:15

I don't know the answer to this, but wish I did! My Y8 is also clinging tightly to her primary friendship group even though they have been growing apart and have been clashing - they just don't have as much in common anymore. I think she is sticking with them all because having an established friend group is easier than being brave and trying to make new friends (there are lovely girls in her year she gets on better with, but is reluctant to leave the safety of her old friends). Very frustrating.

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