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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Should we allow 13 year old to spend his money even if we don't want him to buy it!

23 replies

Loopyloua · 08/12/2025 19:39

Our sensible 13 year old son has unknowingly saved £600 from birthdays, Xmas , helping his dad do jobs etc...now he realises how much he has he wants to buy a switch2..he already has an Xbox which he's on a lot , and a phone that he watches a lot , he does play football and is a great student, incredibly polite and an all round great kid..but we don't want to loose him further to another device. Saying that he's worked hard to save and it's his money...should we let him spend it how he wants???

OP posts:
TippledPink · 08/12/2025 19:41

He should be allowed to purchase it, why don't you limit screen time as a whole if you are worried. He can choose which screen he wants to use.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 08/12/2025 19:43

Yes it's his money, and if he regrets it that is a useful lesson

But you should (everyone should) limit his overall screen time - tell him this and give him a cooling off period to really decide

Jeska7 · 08/12/2025 20:05

He can only play on one device at a time (unless he’s on his phone chatting / playing online with them). He’s worked hard to save it. I would let him buy it if he really wants. Only if he’s buying it because he wants it. Not just to spend money. Ask what games he wants to buy. Ask if friends have a Switch etc.

LifeBeginsToday · 08/12/2025 20:09

Let him spend the money. His reward for saving so diligently is a big ticket item he wants.

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:10

Why wouldn't you?

Littletreefrog · 08/12/2025 20:12

Its his money that came to him with no conditions attached so I don't think you can start attaching them now. You can of course limit his screen time if you see fit.

Tammygirl12 · 08/12/2025 20:13

Yes let him buy it, the other option is much more resentment

TomatoSandwiches · 08/12/2025 20:13

He as been responsible to save up his own money, I don't think stopping him from buying the item he wants will do your relationship any good at all.

Needspaceforlego · 08/12/2025 20:21

Op I can see why you'd say No, my teen wanted to buy a ridiculously priced Lego earlier in the year.
I said No, nowhere to put it. And it was every single bit of his savings.

I think for Switch this close to Christmas I'd maybe suggest he paid half and got other half for Christmas.

IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow · 08/12/2025 20:22

He’s done amazingly to save that much money and I agree that he should be able to buy it. It’s such a good lesson in money management, going without and saving to get something you really want so he should benefit from the reward at the end. This time of year there are brilliant deals too.

Limiting screen time is separate and the Switch can be hand held (I think) so you might see more of him in a living room etc rather than being tucked away in his bedroom.

SleafordSods · 08/12/2025 20:30

I would let him buy it. By stopping him you’re essentially saying that it would be fine if he had frittered away his money but not fine that he’s saved for a long time for something he really wants. Seems a bit of an odd financial message to give to a young teen.

Plus the Switch won’t take all of the £600 and if he had something like Mario Kart you could play it together.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/12/2025 20:31

Don't control the spendjng. Do control the screen time!

pinkfondu · 08/12/2025 20:32

He’s saved , show him the reward of it but letting him buy it, and what spending your savings does to tge amout you have keft

BillieWiper · 08/12/2025 20:34

I don't really think you can stop him. It's not like he needs adult permission or supervision to just go and buy it.

You can tell him that his gaming time shouldn't be increasing, and put in boundaries of times with no devices etc. but having one extra one doesn't have to mean he necessarily would spend longer gaming.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 08/12/2025 20:35

Needspaceforlego · 08/12/2025 20:21

Op I can see why you'd say No, my teen wanted to buy a ridiculously priced Lego earlier in the year.
I said No, nowhere to put it. And it was every single bit of his savings.

I think for Switch this close to Christmas I'd maybe suggest he paid half and got other half for Christmas.

You said no to a kid wanting to buy Lego?? 🤯

Expensive tech is one thing but Lego?!

MarkerBonVine · 08/12/2025 20:38

Absolutely let him buy it. What an achievement to save all that money. He can only be on one device at a time. You should have a lovely sit down chat with him and tell him what a great kid he is and you are concerned about his screen time and ask him what he thinks is fair. This is exactly what we did with our two sons. Heads him up that you are going to do this so he has time to think or tell him he has time to go away and think about the table talk, come back and discuss. Children need to learn to negotiate.

There were limits imposed by us for our sons, their attitude was a huge part of it too, attitude to homework and doing it well, to coming off devices to help with dinner both table setting and cooking. Chores being done, no payments for that, just expected. When we walk through the door with supermarket shopping help to unpack it and put it away. They never moaned or complained, just sucked it up because we do that as adults.

Needspaceforlego · 08/12/2025 20:39

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 08/12/2025 20:35

You said no to a kid wanting to buy Lego?? 🤯

Expensive tech is one thing but Lego?!

Show quote history

Expensive Lego £500 worth of Lego. And nowhere for it to actually go once built.

Tech at least gets used beyond the initial building stage

Original poster
Loopyloua · 09/12/2025 17:11

Thanks , we of course have screen limits ..would be nuts not to in this day and age (he doesn't have any social media , it's all gaming, watching YouTube and football results) ...it's just another device for a lot of money..but as you say he has been sensible and saved his own money ..I am far more agreeable than my husband ..but I can guarantee you it would have no effect on our relationship if we did say no, he would understand our feelings even if he didn't agree and move on..he really is a great teen!

He was originally saving for a VR headset ..by the time he had enough he didn't want it anymore...so that's part of my concern!

He is going to think it over for a week ..if he still wants it he will get it!
Thanks for your comments!

OP posts:
Needspaceforlego · 09/12/2025 17:32

Op I get your concerns.
Its just so close to Christmas. That would bug me as much as anything.

But I don't think I'd object. If it was the middle of July with birthdays and Christmas months away.

Newsenmum · 10/12/2025 19:32

Like everyone has said -
you wouldnt lose
him as he’ll just play that instead. It’s great lesson to him that saving gets reward.

waterrat · 13/12/2025 20:33

I would really be gutted to see my teen spend such a large amount of money on another gaming device OP! I completely understand

Could you help him understand the alternatives - holidays/ clothes/ adventures?

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 13/12/2025 21:17

We had exactly this when the switch 2 came out, DS had saved pocket money, birthday and Christmas money and had enough for a switch 2. Already had a gaming device but really wanted it. We agreed (once we were able to get one, they were out of stock if you’d not preordered for ages!). He doesn’t use it much more than he do the other device but that is just gathering dust now.

Im hoping the habit of saving for big things will last.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 13/12/2025 21:19

waterrat · 13/12/2025 20:33

I would really be gutted to see my teen spend such a large amount of money on another gaming device OP! I completely understand

Could you help him understand the alternatives - holidays/ clothes/ adventures?

Not being difficult - but holidays, clothes, adventures - these alternatives sound like things parents pay for go a 13 year old.

Really this is just a 13 year old wanting to buy a toy.

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