What to do about an unmotivated teen

[justkeepgoingpeople]

i think I already know the answer to this one but interested what others would do.

DD13 is infuriating. Super bright. Does the bare minimum work and gets away with it, exam results are always a good pass. She’s not reaching her potential at all. Shes totally fine with it. It’s driving me up the wall. I could resort to nagging, bribing, threatening but I don’t think it would make a difference. She wouldn’t do anymore work. She seems to know what she can get away with. Do I have to just pray that she works out before exams that if she puts a bit of effort in she might achieve more?

trying my best to look as serene and unannoyed as possible

It's wonderful that she's so bright; it really simplifies things. I had a child like that and I kept things low-key. Ultimately, they decide what they do with their life. I supported my children by providing a positive home environment and making studying easy with things like desks and quiet time. I avoided nagging or guilt trips. If they chose to work hard, I wanted it to be for their own reasons, not out of fear of my anger or disappointment.
I've always had a great relationship with my kids, which made it easier to be supportive than if I had been controlling. My four children might have got slightly higher grades if pushed harder, but they achieved well regardless. They all loved their university courses and are now in great jobs that they enjoy. My 'lazier' child has their dream job.
I believe there are times to be strict, but I don't think slightly underperforming in school is one of them

So what? Maybe she doesn’t want to aim for the top. Is she happy? Is that not the most important thing?

DC1 was like this. Very academic and didn’t need to try. Finally at end of year 10, when other children started studying really hard and he did bare minimum, lots of the children’s sheer hard work got them better results than he achieved. Just had year 11 mocks and in 8 of 10 subjects he is now predicted 9s. He wants help with the other 2 to get straights 9s or at worst 8s in those other two subjects. It was essentially peer pressure that got him working. Good luck. I know how frustrating it is. We have always instilled it’s not the results but the effort that matters and you can achieve a lot on hard work and being ok academically. Being very bright but lazy is a huge waste in my mind.

Does she really need to be aiming for straight as and worrying about exams.and university choices at 13 ?

I have a 13 year old and he cares about football.his friends and his PlayStation..

Your child sounds high achieving id say and you could relax and let her enjoy life and not worry about future academic achievement yet

It's actually a very useful life skill to determine exactly how much work you need to do to get you where you want to be, and not do a jot more.

In the long run, that will serve her in better stead than a fistful of high school marks.

OP I actually think this is more about you than her. It’s making me wonder what happened in your education. Children get so much pressure later on, just let her get on with it, trust her that she’ll work when she needs to, and try to relax yourself too! Maybe she has something to teach you too.