What would you do?

[Pinkelephant2025]

Hello,

my 16 year old daughter has made a friend from college (a boy) she was out with him after college and was in our town close to home yet he lives a little further out. She said she was going to catch the bus back with him to his house and then catch the bus back home because he doesn’t like getting the bus by himself. It was 5 and it’s dark so I said to her no you can come back home he will be fine getting the bus alone. It’s been an hour now and her location which is always on her phone has been turned off which she never does and she is ignoring my texts and phone calls. This has really annoyed me. She shouldn’t be taking the boy home 🤦🏻‍♀️ and I’m guessing she is doing that as she is ignoring me and turned off location, just wondering how other parents would go about this when she gets home because I want to have a go at her but know that it’s just going to cause stress and she will get all angry and it will probably turn into an argument but how would another parent handle this?

thanks

I would listen to her first. There may be a good reason why she feels the need to accompany him, that she couldn't tell you in front of him. She is 16 and it's not late. So I would aim to understand the situation, then discuss with her how you and she could negotiate better in this kind of situation.

Remember that she is 16, not 6, so you won't be in control of her movements for very long, and the aim is to keep her openly and willingly communicating with you.

She maybe just wanted to spend more time with him. I’d listen to her and maybe think about whether it’s unreasonable to expect a 16 year old to be home at 5. I’d also explain that you were worried when she turned her location off and ask her to not do that without telling you first.

I’d not be happy that she had basically ignored me but she wasn’t unreasonable to want to stay out later.

Thank you both for replying! I’ve spoken to her through text now and she did explain she wanted to stay out later. It’s definitely not worth having an argument about and damaging the relationship we have over something like this. I think I need to remind myself she is getting older now but can’t help but worry about her out alone in the dark but I know she’s not a silly girl