Teenage girl with issues falling asleep

[Cambridgeone]

One of my 14 year old daughters for the past few months has developed issues falling asleep to the point she now struggles to nod off for being so stressed about not sleeping! It’s a vicious cycle. We’ve approached a GP twice and the well-being lead at school (who my daughter won’t speak to face to face). My daughter does all the right things-evening bath, reading, no device in her room etc etc. We’ve tried magnesium spray, milky drinks, all the techniques like square breathing and cognitive tips like going through the alphabet etc. Nothing works.
She gets so worked up and tearful with over tiredness. Can’t reason with her in those times. Says she hates her life etc.

We’re now at the point I’m having to sit in her room. She can’t fall asleep on her own as she gets herself in such a state.

I’m not sure what has triggered it all. She is year 10. Has always done really well at school but this year I know she’s feeling the pressure. She used to swim three times a week (just training no competitions as couldn’t handle the stress). It was a good thing away from school, home etc but we couldn’t afford it any longer and she got bored of it. Never had issues with sleep until this year.
she now does Pilates in her room each day and goes to the gym on a Sunday. She comes on dog walks with me to get fresh air etc.
I’m a solo Mum juggling two jobs, house and bringing my girls up, dog etc. I’ve sat in her room for two hours tonight without her nodding off. We’ve tried her sleeping in with me but she says I’m too noisy and she can’t sleep.
At a loss of where to go from here. Will she grow out of it. Should I be pushing for help-if so from where and with who? It’s been happening since August and it’s now affecting everything really.

More physical exercise including walks. Get her swimming for fun a couple of times a week. Use audible or podcasts so she has something to focus on in the dark.

Melatonin worked for my lad as a teenager

I think you’re right on the physical exercise. Hard getting a fun swim session in during the week here as the local pool is either taken for lessons or the swim club from after school until 8pm. She has no other clubs or after school things which is partly my fault as we don’t have the disposable income. The dark nights here in a rural area also don’t help otherwise she’d probably take herself off for a run.

I’m not up on tech etc. Do you have to have a subscription to anything to listen to a podcast? Does it rely on her having her mobile in her room? (She currently leaves this in the kitchen at around 9 to charge overnight).
She has an Amazon Eco device in her room but we don’t have Prime or anything. Her twin sister is in the bedroom next door so obviously don’t want anything too loud.
Sorry I’m really not up on these things.

Melatonin and taking off all pressure to fall asleep.

Talk up the benefits of just being warm and cosy and rested. If she doesn't sleep that's fine. Audiobooks or Podcasts or soothing music are all great options. Encourage her to lie back and listen and not try to get to sleep.

How long did your son take it for? Where do you buy it? The GP mentioned it off record but said he couldn’t prescribe it etc. Does it affect them the following day?

Everyone always says teenagers love their sleep and you can never get them out of bed. It’s quite the opposite here. At nearly 50 the lack of sleep is killing me.

Audio books were a game changer for me, huge digital choice all free as part of my council run library membership. I wear noise cancelling over ear headphones (not expensive ones) and generally find them buried under the duvet in the morning as I must pull them off in the night.

I stick to non-fiction books on subjects I don't find terribly interesting to try and bore myself to sleep, currently listening to a book all about the amazing world of fungus 😆.

Headphones might get broken after a while though hence only buying cheaper ones e.g £20 from Amazon.

The last GP said that very thing-that merely laying in bed and resting is really good for us. I’ve reiterated this to her but she’s putting so much pressure on herself. So many tears and sobbing endlessly. I end up sitting in her room just so she doesn’t wake up her sister.

Will look into earphones and audio books as they seem to work for lots of people 😊

My teen also struggles to sleep, and has done on and off for most of her life. She is also in year 10, and finding the pressure hard.
We go for a walk in the evening (even in the dark and rain) and it helps a lot, also a white noise machine. We have tried sleep stories and music too, but white noise works best at the moment. Have a look at the Insight Timer app - loads there, and free. The other thing is meditation. This works best if you do it earlier in the day, not at bedtime.

and suggest that she doesn’t try to sleep, but does try to relax.

like you I have spent hours over my life sitting in her room, and it’s hard. You have my sympathy.

https://www.biovea.com/uk/

10mg gummies half an hour before bed. Used this company for 5 years, no issues.

No following day problems, we were using Night nurse which is very drowsy inducing and not good for more than 1-2 nights.

I got mine from Piping Rock. I get the ones you can suck, a fruity flavour. My 17 year old son can finally sleep thanks to these, for the first time in my 46 years on this planet I no longer lie awake for hours on end and my almost 14 year old now has much better sleep! It’s been a game changer for us all. I’m usually asleep within 20 mins of taking one.

No effects the next morning. I suspect we are on this long term now, but I’m ok with that if it means everyone sleeps!

Good luck!

Here’s a link to the ones we use:

https://www.pipingrock.com/en-gb/products/melatonin-fast-dissolve-tablets-5-mg-200-fast-dissolve-tablets-4192

Melatonin.

it’s officially prescription only in the U.K. but quite easy to buy.

worked for my DS not for my DD.

failing that physical exercise, if you have an Alexa or similar she can listen to music or audiobooks on.