Should I let my child move schools.??

[TheCyanCat]

Hi everyone,
I’m really struggling with what to do about my daughter at the moment. She’s in Year 10 and over the summer she had a big falling out with her friendship group. Since going back to school, things have been really hard for her. most of the year seems to have taken the other girls side, and she’s finding it so difficult to go in. There are lots of tears lots of anxiety.

Shes tried to make new friends, but she’s scared people have already heard the gossip and it’s really knocked her confidence. She’s now begging me to let her move schools. The only other options are about 20 minutes away, so she’d have to get the bus and wouldn’t know anyone there. i do worry she’d find it hard being “the new girl”, but honestly, she’s so miserable where she is that it’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to think maybe a fresh start would do her good.

I was against it at first as her sisters still at the current school, so it would be more convenient for me to keep them together. but that feels selfish when she’s so miserable.

Would really appreciate any advice… should I just let her move?
TIA ❤️

She's Year 10. Options won't be easy.

If you do allow her to move, time is really, really of the essence, given that GCSEs are well underway.

I would let her move, she'll be able to catch up on GCSEs. I wish we'd moved DS in year 10 when we had the chance. Being miserable for another 2 years (if things don't change for her) in her current school could be awful for her, and for you.

If your going to do this do it quickly. We had to move dc in year 10 due to a house move when I became disabled. There was no other way, the teachers at the old school told me i was selfish and affecting dc grades, dc actually got better than predicted across the board so it was intact a good move . Dc new school had a cut off of February half term of year 10 (dont know if this is standard).
Had to change one subject totally and found in some subjects it was a change of board, or different books, or done in a different order. Dc was expected to catch up.

I would let her move but agree, do it quickly - and hope the new school does the same boards/subjects etc.

I would let her move too.
did you visit the other school?

Yes I would support her to move. Both of mine really struggled. I moved one in year 7 then was VERY close to moving the other one in year 11 for the same reasons as yours.

she started to self harm and was just so unhappy. Luckily the school worked with us, changed her timetable and she got in with another smaller friendship group.

honestly I believe even the act of considering moving is part of the solution here.

I found myself thinking that she could be one of those statistics 😞

i thought she might muck up her GCSES and need to retake but at least she would be psychologically safe.

good luck.

If she is very unhappy I would let her move you’re going to need a plan about how she is going to catch up as she is about 20% through GCSE courses in terms of teaching content.

If only 20mins of a different, can you be confident that the gossip doesn’t follow her?

Hopefully not. Two complete different towns, v few from our town go to that school 🤞🏼