Sorry long. She’s 13 -2nd child) and met this boy a few months ago. He is 2 yrs older, supposedly homeschooled, adopted by his mother and possibly is ADHD or autistic I’m told by his grandmother (who incidentally has washed her hands of him and his mother). She goes to local school in year 9. Numerous occasions she has made out she is sick, deliberately missed the bus and so on – she is on Report continually for absence, lateness, isolation due to behaviour etc and has frequent detentions. I’ve discussed with the School at length, have dragged grandparents out on the occasions to take her in car when I’ve managed to persuade her to get out of bed and actually go or when she has missed the bus – as I don’t currently drive. I am mid divorce so her father lives a few miles away, about 15 minutes drive – she refuses to see him or have anything to do with him (and that’s her as I’ve tried to encourage her to see him). Her mobile phone was a Christmas present from him last year so he was paying for that and due to be her behaviour he has now taken the phone off her and sold it, so she currently has an older iPhone just so that I can track where she is. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have even bothered to give her another one. She is obsessed with this boy and goes round there every day sometimes straight from school so none of us at home ever seem to see her – I have spoken to the boys mother to agree that she has to be home no later than 8:30pm on a weekday. Not saying the boys at fault but she is totally obsessed with him and he’s basically putting a finger up at everyone else in the family including her grandparents. Today she was not very well this morning so I had to ring School to say that she was off ill, took the youngest child to school, and when I got back, she had got out of bed and gone off to his house. (it’s about 15 minutes to walk there.). So clearly that was all a ruse so more fool me, I guess for being taken in. Her grandfather walked round to the boys house, rang the doorbell and was ignored, he then stood outside and rang her and sent messages.– No response at all. Last night I took her out on her own just myself and her to have a sensible chat about what’s going on – might as well not have wasted my breath, time or money. I am totally at my wits end as are her grandparents. I am going round to see the mother tonight and will then update my.STBX husband after that. My inclination is to say to the mother that she’s totally banned from seeing this boy and if she turns up she is not allowed in and sent straight home. I haven’t any sanctions that I can think of – she’s not given any money, doesn’t have a bank account or Applepay, grandparents don’t give her anything either so I really don’t know what else I can do. Phone has Screen Time but goes off at 10 pm – can’t really take the phone off because otherwise i wouldn’t know where she’s gone.Talking sensibly and calmly has achieved nothing. If her father goes round there all I will say is that it won’t end well. He has a terrible temper. Put it this way Iwouldn’t want him turning up on my doorstep if the situation was reversed but I don’t see what else I can do now. She absolutely hates him for whatever reason – he’s not the nicest person but equally he has made the effort to see them all since we split it up last year so the choice on that one is hers alone, others see him every week for a few hours. I’ve suggested to her that she should at least see him now and again and at least message or ring on occasion – the answer to all of that from her is an absolute no. I’m just seriously bothered that she is on the wrong path – she can’t be bothered with schoolwork yet seems to think that she will get good grades. Any thoughts from anybody would be much appreciated as I really don’t know where to turn. Definitely at my wits end. No trouble from any of the other children so basically it’s just her – I don’t know whether I’m doing something wrong or whether it’s just her. Help please as I’m truly rock bottom. TIA..