Social anxiety preventing 6th form attendance and looking for alternatives

[RunningAtStuff]

Will try to keep this brief but would love some advice / experience.
DD (16) has ASD and extreme social anxiety. He was at a grammar school (not ideal environment for him, but he wanted to go there in Y7 and changing schools felt more disruptive than sticking it out). Just missed their (ridiculous) threshold to stay for A levels, so had to move unexpectedly for 6th form. Is now at local secondary which has excellent 6th form, v.strong pastoral and SEN, and should be better environment for him.

BUT, he's unable to go in most days due to social anxiety as new students are the minority (25/90) and now, 6 weeks in, he hasn't integrated at all and all the other new students have.
He's studying at home so not behind with work, but tries every day to go in and mostly doesn't manage it. It's causing major distress and we're getting no closer.
Awaiting private psychiatrist appointment as GP suggested anti-anxiety meds (also on camhs waiting list) and soon to start CBT with school-based MHST.
We also appealed for his previous school to readmit him as he insists that would be easier as his friends are there (but 6th form doubles in size) and appeal is tomorrow. I think we have a strong case but also think it's responsible for a lot of his low self-esteem and anxiety and could do more damage in long run. It also does different exam boards so he'd be behind.
We're now wondering about withdrawing and starting again in 2026 at a 6th form college - only problem is the deadline for applications has passed for the only college in our area.
Are there other options we've missed? And is he allowed to pull out and defer for a year, as I think legally he has to remain in education?
He is academically minded - he loves reading and is really invested in his A level subjects, but he just can't access the school environment right now.
Any advice or practical suggestions (or stories of positive outcomes from similar low points!) would be really appreciated.

If he’s keeping up with the reading at home and is waiting for more MH support it sounds like you are doing as much as you can. I hope he turns a corner.

Does he have an EHCP? It may be worth applying (you can do it yourself).
For an assessment you just need to show may have special educational need and that school isn't able to manage it.
The SEN board can help.

I second requesting an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Technically DS has to participate in education, training or employment alongside part-time training or education until 18. However, in reality, no-one is going to take action if DS isn’t.

Thank you. He doesn’t have an EHCP. We’ve always been told that the bar is far higher than his needs and that he wouldn’t qualify because he doesn’t need support with the work itself or in the classroom. So we’ve been directed down the CAMHS route for mental health support.
But I will have another look as it feels like we’re now at a different level of challenge than we’ve experienced before.
Who knows what will happen at appeal - I will be giving it everything but genuinely don’t know if I want it to succeed or not!

You/DS can request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. You don’t need the school or other professionals’ permission. Unfortunately, some schools and professionals incorrectly tell parents their DC doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCP. EHCPs are about more than academics.

The first threshold to focus on is that for an EHCNA. It is a relatively low threshold. You only have to show DS a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need special educational provision to be made via an EHCP. If DS can’t attend, he meets that threshold. Although you may have to appeal.

I think you should go for it full guns with the appeal and let.him return to his previous school

I have an autistic school refusing child and transitions like this are just insanely hard

Your son may also not cope well with starting at a sixth form in a year.

I know it will feel galling when his former school treated him so poorly but its only two years and he would have his friends

Thanks for the advice. We lost the appeal. I’ll look at the EHCP, hadn’t realised it lasts til age 25 so seems worth doing even if it takes a long time