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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

how much pocket money, and what do they buy themselves?

55 replies

fryalot · 04/06/2008 13:03

Sorry, I know it's been done before, but can you all give me a brief recap:

She's 14.

How much money should we be giving her and what should she be expected to buy out of that? I am keen to get her to think about budgeting and want to give her a bit more responsibility for herself.

Specifically, who should be buying make-up and paying for hair cuts?

tia

OP posts:
RustyBear · 04/06/2008 21:38

I give her an allowance so she can learn how to spend money on things that I used to buy for her, she's learning to budget. Next year - if she gets the very high grades she needs, she'll be at university & on a budget.

Not sure why this thread is suddenly all about my DD when there's a 13 year old getting £60 a month to spend on just fun stuff ( not that I'm judging his parents, as I don't know enough about their situation)

Original poster
fryalot · 04/06/2008 21:40

oi! I'm not 'avin' any kicking off on moi thread!

rusty, sweetheart, thank you for sharing. Will you continue giving her an allowance when she goes to university, or will she be on her own then?

OP posts:
RustyBear · 04/06/2008 21:45

Sorry squonk!

She won't be able to get the full student loan because we earn too much, so we'll be making it up to the full amount.

chenin · 04/06/2008 21:46

Rusty! My last post was not aimed at you.. it was a general statement of what I feel about teens and jobs! We all do things differently I know. The 13 yr old can't realistically get a job and I think £60 a month is a lot to give to a girl of that age.

Original poster
fryalot · 04/06/2008 21:48

tis good that you are "training" her to manage though, rusty. That's kind of what I'm trying to do with dd1.

Have given her the job of working out how much she thinks she will spend in a month, and what on, then I will go through it and decide what I am going to buy for her, and make a stab at giving her enough to make up the rest.

Am also going to open her a bank account and let her deal with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 04/06/2008 21:48

oh, good, I see you two are not in fact kicking off.

I shall put my peanuts and hard hat away

OP posts:
chenin · 04/06/2008 21:52

Put them peanuts away squonk!

RustyBear · 04/06/2008 21:58

helliebean, it was the mollycoddling bit that got to me - and that wasn't you.

DD is so much more responsible, reliable, and knowlegable about the world than I was at that age - despite the fact that I didn't get much pocket money, I think I was much more 'mollycoddled' than DD, my parents were very protective/restrictive (if I had smoked I would probably have been permanently grounded & had all funds cut off & I don't think it would have taught me much about being responsible for my own health)I really didn't learn much about the outside world until I left for university - the only independence I had at all was a Saturday job, which my parents were very much against because they thought it would interfere with my studies - they cut off my 30p a week pocket money when I got my job at Littlewoods (I earned £2.63 for working 8.30 - 6.00 with half an hour for lunch - it was a long time ago)

razzie · 04/06/2008 22:00

hi there, my daughter is 13 and we give her £100 per month, which is for all her clothes outings, present buying, trips etc.

the only stuff we buy is anything related to school- clothes,books, trips, and clothes for extra curricular sports etc.

oh and she saves £15 of that in a separate account, for 'when i'm older and want to buy a flat'...

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:03

And don't our experiences shape the way we do things, Rusty? Very much so...! I used to do early morning shifts in a role that was known as a 'chambermaid' in a hotel for less money than that but I am old!!!

girlnextdoor · 04/06/2008 22:03

No Rusty, of course I am not suggesting she gives up her job etc but I do think there are other ways to support a smoker- sorry but it's a bit of a pet hate - couldn't she be using patches, or joining an NHS stop smoking scheme?
That would seem a more pro active way to stop.

I know A levels are stressful but believe me, it doesn't stop there! The stresses and strains of uni life are just as real, as not only is there the work to cope with, but there is the whole social side too which in my experience of 2 at uni is often more stressful than the academic side of things!

My son has just - today- completed his finals for his master's degree- and my daughter her 1st year exams at uni, studying chemistry at a "Top 10" uni - and she got there whilst having a weekend job too.

So, call me mean if you like, but i think it makes it too easy for them to hand out money if they have ajob- I didn't get it when I was their age and tbh I wouldn't have wanted my parents to give me pocket money at that age- plus they just couldn't really have afforded to anyway.

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:05

berluddy hell, Razzie! That is a lot!!!! Mine got about £20 a month at that age (might have even been less!) and it wasn't that long ago!

girlnextdoor · 04/06/2008 22:07

i agree hellie- razzie that is a huge amount! £25 a week to spend on whatever she likes?

I know kids who get around £5 a week- and it's not 'cops their parents are poor- it's because they feel they need to be aware of the value of money.

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:10

Oh yes, girlnextdoor, it was pretty stressful my DD1 getting through freshers week... she must have had a couple of bouts of 'freshers flu' with all that drinking!

In all seriousness, the stress goes on and on now for my DD also at a top Uni. When she comes home, she works, to pay for the never-ending social life! It is a work hard play hard environment.

RustyBear · 04/06/2008 22:13

I know that university life is stressful - Ds is in his second year and I went there myself, but she has a 3.5 month window between A2s & starting university (if she gets her grades) During this time she and her boyfriend are going to make a concerted effort to stop, and both I and his mum will be supporting them in any way we can.

Incidentally smoking is a pet hate of mine too, it's not something I would ever have expected DD to start, no-one in our extended family has ever smoked and I was very dismissive of the intelligence of anyone who did - but it's really not that simple.

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:15

Well, girlnextdoor.. I remember my DD1 coming home from school at about age 13 telling me about someone in her class who was getting an 'allowance' of £150 a month, and could she have that too?!

I fell around laughing and told her 'on yer bike' and then told her that in a year or so she would be getting a part time job to pay for all the things she wanted to spend her money on !

jammi · 04/06/2008 22:15

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jammi · 04/06/2008 22:16

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girlnextdoor · 04/06/2008 22:18

lol, helliebean!

What I was saying- and I think you understand- is that the stresses of A levels are just the beginning- settling in, finding accommodation in yr 2, getting on with flat mates and coping with the work and the social side are all issues. Don't get me wrong- my 2 have fared well....but it's no good thinking that life is all plain sailing after A levels.

We have to top up both my kids' loans, and pay for their day to day living expenses. Needless to say, we don't have much left for ourselves, what with a large mortgage, living in the SE of the country!

They both work during holidays and manage to save in their ISAs , to pay off their student loans at the end, and to put some money into their day-to-day living.

I think that if they are given too much money at an early age they don't appreciate the value and it doesn't really encourage them to look for work- why would they want to?

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:18

My DD2 aged 16 makes herself a packed lunch every day.. does that count?!

chenin · 04/06/2008 22:22

I know what you mean girlnextdoor... DD1 worked 10 shifts a week during Easter hols and earned over £200 a week.. for 4 weeks. She saved half and topped up her Uni living expenses with the rest. I am dead proud of her!

jammi · 04/06/2008 22:24

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RustyBear · 04/06/2008 22:28

But DD did look for her weekend job while she was getting an allowance - partly for the experience and because she thought it would look better on her UCAS form(!), but also, as I said, she is saving as much as she can for university (OK, not quite as much as she could if she stopped smoking...). She is also planning to ask her manager to give her a recommendation to the branch in the city where she hopes to go - he thinks she will probably be able to work there during term time & here during the holidays.

jammi · 04/06/2008 22:29

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chenin · 04/06/2008 22:29

Awww Jammi, love your 12yo!! What a sweetie!
But £75 on polo shirt for SS.. oooh bloomin' heck!