Teenager tantrums/attitude

[ZipadiSuzy]

My ds and I had a huge fight last night, got quite physical, he is getting so big and strong, I feel so sad I did not keep calm, I should'nt have taken the bait, we were distraught, but managed to talk things through, I am worried how angry he gets, he said he could have really hurt me, but he had just a tiny bit of respect left for me that he didn't, he is only twelve. I love him so much, I am in pain!

I'd like to get help, but I am ashamed (understatement)

I'll check his school planner on his door

He may be at 'Pump' a gym program he's just started.

In our turmoil last night, I can't remember if he was going, hopefully he's there. I'll ring work.

Hopefully he will have worked his agression out!

Hope you sort things out soon.

Thanks MC so do I, dsis round soon, another time for his attention seeking, he loves his aunty so much, but never gives her ear a break. she doesn't have children and loves the complete family difference of coming here then going home! quiet -v- noise?????

DS def at gym, but will be home any second! {{{{{{{nervous emotion}}}}}}}}

jammi - Whatever

really is hard isn't it though, do you ignore those constant comments everytime you ask a simple question?

Did you get yourselves sorted, ZS?

Sorry internet been down

DS was ok for a while, then complete meltdown, so we all went outside and left ds alone to work it out himself.

He is ok if he gets his own way.

But he distracts me to insanity, with his requests.

atm he wants:

PS3
Bike
Plasma TV
Normal bed

So I am the most horrible mummy on this planet, yet again, who never gives him anything (yawn, yawn)

We are a common garden family with little money left over at the end of the month, mostly in the red!

So can I join this exclusive worst mum's club

DS home in 2 mins, so had better get off the computer, HE NEEDS IT!

Why do I have to let a 12yo rule the roost! Just to avoid meltdowns, I don't agree with giving in, so find it hard to let him have when he says 'Jump'

seriously you are creating a monster.

"i want"
gets " get a job then"
"but i can't i am 13"
would get
"tough shit then, my rules shut yer gob"

more whinging

go to your room

more whinging
remove stuff from his room

life wont change
he wont change
unless you force change

" you are so unfair"
"i hate you"
yadda yadda
gets

"AM I BOVVERED"

'ER NO'

Sorry, don't know if you mis-understood!

Thats where I struggle, he doesn't get what he wants, so complete meltdowns! Gets things banned, gets grounded, till there is nothing left for him to do but annoy the rest of the family.

Can't ignore the rude behaviour as we have 4yo twins

Sorry i may have done

the punishments have to be short. to have effect. - its when you say " you are grounded for a week" that they get the not give a shit attitude

If I say you are grounded for any less time, he says 'so what' and it makes no impact on him. It also depends of the severity of the insidence.

It may also be too late, I already have a monster!

seems like your child is the one in a million thatdoesn't respond to anything and that you have tried all the parenting techniques.

Thank you, but I do have to put my hands up high and take the blame somewhere, my dh is rubbish at bounderies, and I knew nothing till ds was 3yo, alot of bad habits already caught on, took me years to fine tune things.

We waited 12 years before we had him, struggled with adoption and IVF, in the end successful at IVF, so spoilt rotton baby.

I obviously see now that the 1st 3 years of a childs life is the backbone of their charachter, alongside any other family trates! not good in our history.

We're doomed!

I have a book called 'The Explosive Child' its quite good.

It explains how you put behaviours in baskets of importance, but I think ds too old for that now, its mainly for younger children.

But, it does work to an extent.

Basket A - Zero tolerance behaviours - deal with straight away!

Basket B - Behaviours that need addressing, but in a strategic way of turning the decisions on the children, say we are going to the library and I want to go at 2pm child wants to go at 1pm, ask child how we work it out, and hopefully, eventually we decide on a compromise of 1.30pm - this talking things through happens BEFORE we start TELLING the child what WE want, BEFORE the famous meltdown!

Basket C - Ignore all these niggly behaviours that arn't actually worth arguing over in the 1st place, things like, tidy room now, brush teeth now, pick that up off the floor now! obviously they need addressing but judge childs mood to suit the ACTUAL need of task.

Wow! so why have I a MONSTER!