An interesting quandary I share.
i have a 19yo daughter who lives at home and is very generous with her time, money and thoughtfulness.
22 yo son, who has lived abroad for his 3rd uni year and now back still has to be reminded of every birthday, and even to say thank you for things he’s gifted.
I had a very big birthday recently, shortly after his when he received the usual array of gifts I’d planned and bought. on my birthday I was given some expensive perfume from them both (I’d asked for) which she’d sourced and bought and I think he sent her some £ when she asked. She added some extra bits too.
on the day I opened her card and the presents, and he disappeared for a while and then gave me his card - the only thing he’d actually done himself.
it was a very thoughtful card with beautiful touching sentiments and made me cry - but here’s the thing - it’s the prodigal son issue. He gives me so little and I’m so grateful 🙄
I KNOW he loves and respects me, but he also takes my love for granted. In some respects I’m fine with that as I think children ought to be able to do that, but as he matures (and god knows he’s clever enough) I’d like to see more conventional displays of his appreciation.
maybe I’m shallow, but hey ho.
having said all that, a couple of years ago I wouldn’t even have got a card, so…
I think what I’m saying is, I will always recognise my son’s birthday because I love him and because I want him to grow up with a good model. And I think he’ll get there.
if you feel the same perhaps you have to continue to recognise your son’s birthday and keep your fingers crossed? They genuinely do take longer to get there in my experience than their female counterparts.