Lost Cause 18 year old, boot camp last resort?????

[CURLYSANDY]

Looking for Words of Wisdom please.. My 18 years old nephew has completely gone off the rails. He is using Cannabis, just using his parents house to sleep in, he goes wandering the streets. He has just starting claiming benefits which he is using for his habit, dropped out of Cyber Security College course. I really don't want to give up on him, his parents want to throw him out of the house. I am fully prepared to fund whatever it takes to sort him out and have heard about these Teenage Boot Camps - does anyone have any experience of these things please. Yours desperately.........

It’s the cannabis that needs to be addressed first and foremost as this is likely the driving factor

rehab

I doubt you can enforce anything like that, he's an adult. I would take a little step back, let his parents take the lead.

Have you spoken to him? What does he want?

If he's feeling lost and hopeless he may embrace a boootcamp but if he feels fine as he is you can't do anything other than provide a safety net..

He's 18 now I'm not really sure yous enforce anything. You all clearly care for him. Just be supportive and encourage him to stop the cannabis, let him know you will pay for rehab if that's what he wants.

Although cannabis may not be the "big issue" here. Its legal in a lot of countries and people still manage to go to work and do their jobs. How is his mental health? This is what needs addressing.

Have you tried listening to him?

At 18 - he is making poor decisions but it doesn't mean he needs 'boot camp'

I haave to say I would really warn against anyone throwing him out over minor drug use and leaving college. Where will he go?

'claiming benefit's isn't some sort of easy street by the way.

Could we reframe this - he is smoking weed(very normal if not a great habit) - he has dropped out of college (maybe wasn't right for him) - and is 'wandering the streets' ie. isn't getting on with mum and dad and is avoiding them

When I was a teeanger my 19 yr old boyfriend was kicked out by his parents and it made things much much worse - he was also a drug user and had MH problems - looking back it was an absolutely terrible decision to kick him out.

I know its hard but please try not to catastrophise some behaviour that is within the range of normal for a teen.

He's 18. Unless he's in prison or the armed forces, he can go more or less wherever he likes, whenever he likes, just as you can, so how do you think a boot camp is going to work?

Many thanks all. that is the issue, he will not talk to anyone. He has had a therapist for 5 years, but has now stopped talking to her. He wanted to join the RAF, but he has Crohns so cannot join any uniformed profession.

If he’s interested in cyber but has health issues there are civilian roles within defence through corporate partnerships with the armed services (and they pay more too) also gchq and mod roles won’t be subject to health restrictions. Sounds like he’s struggling with his health rather than simply off the rails. Finally the uniformed services are changing requirements for certain U.K. based roles to allow those who are excellent for the role but have health conditions to serve

He has to want change I think. There are so many of these drug addled street wise young men around now. They seem to think it's a cool way to live and benefits support them until they don't and then they are even more vulnerable to crime etc. especially if also homeless.