Page 2 | Advice Needed Please

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 2025-09-29T07:59:57+00:00

Fed up with DD16 talking on the phone to her GF late at night - it was gone 1.30am this morning when she came off! Obviously we have to deal with this. DH thinks one of the things we should do is to contact the GF & ask her not to chat to DD after 11pm or to at least for her to persuade DD to be a lot quieter. I’m not sure if this is a step too far? Maybe stick to discussing it with DD? What do you guys reckon?

Halfaday · 30/09/2025 13:43

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 30/09/2025 11:34

DD has said that she & her GF fall asleep on the phone together. But there’s no way it can continue with her still talking into the early hours. She has an I Phone 16 which we are paying for & I pay her bill. I will tell her that if it happens again, I will no longer pay the bill or renew her contract in November.

You said this yesterday

What happened last night OP? Did she take on board your threat? (That I suspect she knows is a bluff)

Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 06:23

16 years of this kind of “parenting” has actually done terrible harm to your child’s quality of life.

16, stuck inside all day every day doing online classes. Spending most of her life on her phone. And in what I imagine is mainly a virtual relationship. Oh and I imagine most of the morning spent in bed or sleep deprived if never falling asleep until the early hours.

It is a tragedy really

Original poster

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 02/10/2025 13:26

Aquickturn81 · 02/10/2025 06:23

16 years of this kind of “parenting” has actually done terrible harm to your child’s quality of life.

16, stuck inside all day every day doing online classes. Spending most of her life on her phone. And in what I imagine is mainly a virtual relationship. Oh and I imagine most of the morning spent in bed or sleep deprived if never falling asleep until the early hours.

It is a tragedy really

But with respect, you have no idea what we have all been through as a family. I certainly wouldn’t choose to be dealing with all that we’ve had to deal with - it’s only because we have a very strong marriage that DH & I are still together & that DD is here rather than in foster care ( she’s adopted) or far worse dead by her own hand 😢 It can be unbelievably stressful & we are certainly not taking the easy way out by doing what we are doing, even though it’s far from ideal. If you knew what we have to try to cope with daily, your post would I hope read very differently. I probably shouldn’t have posted on here in the first place on reflection.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 02/10/2025 13:27

And it’s not a bluff - I am absolutely prepared to stop paying the bill

OP posts:

Cooksmart · 02/10/2025 14:52

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 02/10/2025 13:26

But with respect, you have no idea what we have all been through as a family. I certainly wouldn’t choose to be dealing with all that we’ve had to deal with - it’s only because we have a very strong marriage that DH & I are still together & that DD is here rather than in foster care ( she’s adopted) or far worse dead by her own hand 😢 It can be unbelievably stressful & we are certainly not taking the easy way out by doing what we are doing, even though it’s far from ideal. If you knew what we have to try to cope with daily, your post would I hope read very differently. I probably shouldn’t have posted on here in the first place on reflection.

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Yes but the facts of this situation. - your DH suggesting that your child’s girlfriend parents her and the fact that basic parent rule 101 is no phones in room overnight - indicates that no matter the context, there’s been some lax parenting going on here that contributes to current issue

Cooksmart · 02/10/2025 14:54

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 02/10/2025 13:27

And it’s not a bluff - I am absolutely prepared to stop paying the bill

But that’s daft. You’ll be cutting off an already very cut off teenager from her only communication with the outside world.

Instead keep it simple… no phone in room overnight from 11pm latest