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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Reacting to teen mood swings

3 replies

littlelottie83 · 27/09/2025 17:33

Dd1 went through a period of poor mental health a few years ago- was really suffering with anxiety and saw a psychologist who really helped. This was such a difficult period and she needed lots of support. She is better now but still struggles socially. Things are however on the up and she is generally a happy, balanced young person. However, I really struggle with her mood swings and reacting to her. It’s as if I’m now on red alert all the time and want her to be happy all the time. I sometimes think I am too quick to ask if she’s ok if she’s not singing and dancing around the house (as she is 95% of the time). Last night she was upset about something but I didn’t have time to deal with it as I had to go out with dd2 and I dreaded going back home to deal but when I did she was happily eating her dinner and had spoken to a friend and was feeling much better. Just now I went into a room and she’s sat there quietly and looking sad- I just said ok? And she said yes- she obviously isn’t feeling 100 but instead of reacting I just smiled, told her I’d start making dinner and left. I felt guilty for just leaving her and am itching to go and check on her but I know she chats to me when she needs anything… just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing! Does anyone else suffer from the need to make everything ok all the time?

OP posts:
Springadorable · 27/09/2025 17:42

I'd say you are. You're caring, and picking up on her moods, but aren't suffocating her. Her confidence in dealing with emotions will increase the more practice she gets at working through them, and she knows you are there as her safety net if it's too tricky. Well done!

Littleorangeflowers · 30/09/2025 17:50

Hi OP I think you've answered your own query here with wanting her to be happy all the time. Life is hard. We are not happy all the time by any stretch. Perhaps let her come to you a bit more. Of course on one level it's normal to want them to be happy and successful but that has to include a normal amount of frustration and negative feelings about life otherwise they develop no capacity to weather the inevitable storms. Maybe have a think about why you feel so anxious that she is happy all the time. Is it to do with you and your history for example.

How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk is quite useful. As is get out of my life but first take me and Alex into town.

littlelottie83 · 01/10/2025 06:17

@Littleorangeflowers I think it is how I was brought up… I always felt I had to make my parents happy and ‘do the right thing.’ Although my parents were wonderful I didn’t always feel ‘heard’ by them and I suspect I am overcompensating now… I know I try to make life easy for my children and I really need to stop. 😊

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