Parents please help!

[CoolCherry]

Hello, this is a bit of a diffeent style post since I am the teenager! i am a 17 year old girl, 18 in april, and my best friend (who my mum knows quite well) just invited me to a rave for halloween. i have never been to a rave before, but its a special “teen only” rave with VERY strict ID checks and a no alcohol/drugs/vape policy. I am very excited, since I have never been to a rave begore. The thing is, my mum is a big worrier. She barely lets me go to Tesco alone without having me share my location! i completely understand, since about a year ago something happened that makes her be extra protective and afraid for me. I know that she would let me go (shes always nagging me for to “go out” more!) but i really dont want her to worry! i will feel so bad if she cant focus due to stress. How can i very gently ask her if i can go. Of course, if she is uncomfortable with me going, i will not go, but i really want to go. So here is my question: Mums of teenagers, if your child was in my situation, how would you like them to tell you? Im so sorry if I wasted you time, I am just in need of advice!

Well don’t call it a rave for a start. Call it a party or something else and emphasise the strict no alcohol etc rules. And make a plan for when it finishes and how you intend to get home.

agree - don’t call it a rave;-)
Does your mum like your friend? Anyone else going whom your mum likes?
could you agree to leave a bit earlier?
Make sure you have a good plan of how you are getting there and back plus a contingency plan (we can get a taxi if x’s mum can’t collect us etc)
And don’t show your mum what time you were posting this !
you sound lovely Op - hope you have a brilliant time and stick with your mates (and watch your drinks) ! (My dds are 17 and 15)

Find a good time when she’s not rushing to do anything else then show her all the information- that it is age appropriate etc, who you propose going with and how you will get to & from.
it sounds great, I’d forgotten that cubs can offer this kind of thing to under age people - whereabouts in the country is it?

Call it a teen disco. That sounds very non threatening. Present her with a well thought out plan. Tell her who you are planning to go with, how you're getting there, how you're getting home. (known and trusted parents dropping off and collecting would be less of a worry than bus/taxi/uber). Give her accurate times that you will stick to. Tell her that you and your friend will stick together and look out for each other. Tell her you will phone her if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Tell her you'll make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave home and you can't wait to tell her all about it when you get back home

Do not call it a rave, a rave would have bern a no from me. A party with friends that has no drink rule, you will be home by x time or your mum can pick you up at x time. You will check in once. Then prove you can be trusted. Both dc at that age were going to parties and most times we picked up. Ds at 17 was driving himself around the country for his sport and went to Portugal on his own so you should be fine but trust is so important in us parents letting go.

thank you all for the suggestions! i talked to my mum today, and she was happy for me to go under some conditions that we discussed. we both agreed that I would have my location on, bring a power bank and a regular charger, have emergency money, and have a very clear plan on how to get back. we also thought of a “help emoji” that i can send if i need help like if I cant find my friend (we chose 👌 as its not an emoji that i ever use). i made it clear that I was only going with my best friend (she knows and likes and trusts her well) and we figured out tube stations :) i called it a “teen party” and made it very clear that its strictly no alcohol/over18s :) thank you so much for all the suggestions i really appreciate it!

Have a lovely time OP, glad it worked out 🥳