My daughter is 17 years old and a senior in high school. She has been with her boyfriend 17 1/2 since the summer before before freshman year. Over the past three years things haven’t been completely perfect. Of course they’ve had issues but always worked them out. My daughter is eagerly applying for college out of state. It was voiced many times over the years how they wished for him just to stay home and go to community college. He with my daughter has also now started applying to colleges. She has asked him many times if this is something that he really wants to do and he said absolutely. My daughter is super focused on school and so the application process. She has set a timeline to make sure everything gets accomplished. The boyfriend is the complete opposite. He has ADHD. I know that she has told him things for example like spend two hours working on an essay tonight or today Focus on math.we have always been the parents and I have been friends this whole time in the past few months, the mom has become very standoffish Not really texting anymore. I felt something was off the other day. She finally told me that things were heavy at home and I know that the older sister 18 1/2 is now trying to move out the mom though now in the past few days has sent my daughter and myself text messages basically attacking us saying that we have been manipulating her son. We try to control him that he has been put in a position to choose between my daughter and his mom. I am aware since we have met this family that the mom has been a little emotionally controlling of him. I have responded to her several times in the past few days that this is their relationship and to be their relationship alone, and that I am not in their relationship that they need to figure things out for themselves that he also needs to make decisions that are best for him for the future. My daughter once again stated that he needs to do what he wants to do and he said that he wants to continue to apply to the same colleges that she is the mom has since kept texting me saying how bad my daughter is. She’s not good for him. She over powers him. She’s manipulating him mentally. Just totally ripping my daughter apart. She has stated these things to her son because he in fact has shown her the text messages from his mom. The mom and I have been friends since they got together. But recently, she has been very standoffish. which is kind of strange because her and I used to go text on a regular basis go to lunch, We have spent holidays together, but whatever has happened I don’t know. she has become very aggressive towards me and my daughter. I have once again stated to her that I don’t know what she wants to get out of sending me these text messages that I am not in their relationship and they need to make their own decisions and choices. What is best for them I’ve asked her what is happening that I don’t understand. The only response I get is more aggression and mean comments. She is now once again sent me a text message stating that her and I need to meet and talk I don’t see that being beneficial as I feel like it will be just an attack seeing how she has been recently. I do believe that she is going through other things also. going forward I think her and I need a break from communicating. She told her son that she needs her opinion and voice herd. I just don’t want her to make this any worse on my daughter by overly controlling her son as far as now maybe telling him he’s not allowed to see my daughter. what is the best course of action I have yet to respond to her about meeting her