Dd16 refusing school. What are her options for work/learning?

[Ketzele]

I fear this is going to be a bit long but Im desperate for advice, so please do read if you think you can help!

I'm a single parent to a dd who has just turned 16. Her older sister is away at uni. Dd has struggled with school from day 1 - main reason originally was her difficulty being away from me (important context is that dd, who is adopted, has significant attachment issues and was also exposed to heroin and alcohol in utero).

In primary school she just about managed through ensuring she always had a key adult she could turn to, but secondary school has been a disaster. Her attendance has never risen above 50%. Her learning has always been way behind.

I firmly believe she has ADHD and processing issues. I have been pushing for CAMHS assessment since Y6 but refused due to (a) her not going to school enough and (b) her attachment issues, which CAMHS say have to be resolved first. This despite the private edpsych report I paid for in Y7 which said definite issues, and a CAMHS assessment for depression, after which the psychologist wrote to her own bosses saying please reconsider refusing to assess this child.

Dd has now decided shes not going back to school for her last year (Y11). She is adamant. And I feel there is little point, at this stage, in keeping going with what we've been doing. I did try to design a solution with dd only attending key sessions at school, supplemented with tutoring/online learning, but dd is refusing to go back at all.

I accept that qualifications are out of the picture for now (she got straight Us in mocks); my concern now is the soft skills of self-discipline, work ethics, responsibility etc, and helping her find her path.

I know she has to be in some kind of education or training till 18. Would she find any apprenticeships at this age? Is she allowed to work part time? Could she, for example, work 4 days pw in social care, then be tutored for Maths and English GCSE on the fifth day?

The good news is that she is great with people - makes friends easily, funny and kind, quite charismatic. Bad news is that she is impulsive, quick to anger, and lives in the moment. She has private therapy for her attachment issues. She has huge mood swings, and often restricts her eating - she is getting very thin.

I am at a loss. Would be grateful for any advice.

Would you be able to support her at home if the local authority funded online school? It worked for for friends who have an adopted dd with severe attachment issues and FAS diagnosed. She’s on course to scrape gcse passes hopefully, she did redo year 10 though having missed most of it when she was meant to be at normal school, the la or potentially via adoption support funded a repeat of year 10 plus year 11 of online school. She isn’t stupid by any means but getting her to concentrate is a nightmare

If the LA funded online provision and someone needs to be present to support that, the LA is responsible for funding that too. The LA cannot be compelled to facilitate it.

Just to sympathise. It can definitely feel like adoptive families with education support needs that may be health, may be SEN, may be attachment, fall between three stools of post-adoption support, NHS and Local authority SEND. You’ve had a super rough time, all of you. Really hope you find energy and strength to advocate some more for her. NB an EHCP gives access to post-school commissioned support for young people with additional needs up to 25. Worth getting if you can as it may help fill some gaps if she matures a bit later. Good luck!

Hi, firstly big hugs this is so hard to deal with I’ve been there.

my advice would be speak to a college/ or several. I had the same with DD and we were home schooling for last few years. Had a nightmare with it she has adhd and home education was tough when dealing with all the complexities of MH and adhd. I wasted years trying to get her through 3 GCSEs to get her into college, ended up not sitting them as wasn’t worth losing my relationship with her. What I did find was some colleges are better than others but several sat down with us and said what are you interested in, let’s look at a range of courses and apprenticeships and find something you are going to enjoy and want to stick to. They were very helpful, some more than others so worth going to visit a few in person. When you call it’s basically just a call centre so actually go in and speak to the admissions team. DD is now at college doing a level 2 course and doing her maths and English GCSEs along side, she’s loving it which I never thought I’d see.

DD (also adopted) got an EHCP without a diagnosis. It is based on need. She didn't pass English and Maths GCSEs and by the time we got a remark the local College level 2 courses were full.

The LA provided 10 hours a week English and Maths tutoring and she did some voluntary work.one morning a week. As she was also doing about 6 or 7 hours a week training for her hobby, and involved in training adoption SWs by talking about her experiences and views, she was developing lots of soft skills as well.

She passed English (thank goodness) and is now thriving in College on a course of her choice. She said the other day that she never thought she would look forward to going to school, but she does 😊 and is far more capable of organising herself and staying on top of the requirements than she was a year ago.

I would insist that the EHCP assessment starts, request the LA provides some tutoring, and get post adoption involved.

None of that is necessarily easy! We were lucky with the LA we are in. But i am afraid some of the things you have been.told are simply untrue.

PS I think the chances of her ever passing Maths GCSE or equivalent are pretty much non existent. She will have to endlessly retake due to the ridiculous government policy, but at least that's only an hour a week alongside the course she wants to do, which is vocational and plays to her strengths.

She can work part time now but there are restrictions as she isn't old enough to leave school.

She cannot leave education until her 'school leaving date'. After that she can be in work, training or education. We often forget the 'work' part.

Colleges are allowed to teach children 14 plus so you could look at level 1 / 2 courses. These lead to Level 3 courses.

I think she would have to take English and maths.

I'm slightly biased because I used to teach health and social care but I think if she is good with people it might be a fit. But the thing I would hesitate about, but you know the circumstances, is that as she progresses, if she gets to level 3 she might encounter some subjects close to home.

At level 3 there is a work placement component.

It's a bit late to join a course now, but it isn't impossible.

She will have to endlessly retake due to the ridiculous government policy

@Baital in case you aren’t aware, there is an exception for a very small minority who aren’t able to able to study towards GCSE, Functional Skills level 2 or stepping stone qualifications. If that applies to your DD, it is something that can be covered by the EHCP.

Even if it doesn’t apply DD only has to work towards it. She doesn’t have to actually sit the exams.

My daughter doesn’t have an EHCP but the college allowed her to take along side or not take at all. They said there’s exceptions when they can see the student is keen but hasn’t been able to sit their exams for what ever reason. It’s not as black and white as they make out

Yes, she ended up taking functional skills English, and was working on functional skills maths as well with the tutor but never anywhere near a chance of passing it.

At school she dropped one GCSE option to focus on English and Maths so had maths everyday plus small group.and one to one support. She really worked at it.

She still got a 2 grade. She'll turn up for her hour a week of maths and do her best. But numbers just don't make sense to her.

Fewer than 1 in 5 people resitting maths get a pass - and a good proportion of them will be those who were close to a pass but unlucky, or had their preparation disrupted, or simply didn't put the work in the first time.

Whereas DD worked hard and had all the support possible, and still was nowhere near passing.

Anyway, this is a digression!

Unfortunately, the current funding regulations mean the exemption for those with SEN only applies if the is an EHCP. The regulations state “students with SEND and an EHC plan, who are assessed as not able to study towards either GCSE, Functional Skills level 2 or stepping stone qualifications”. See here.

Although that still only means DC have to work towards. They don’t have to actually sit the exams.

Thanks for the link, I hadn't read the guidance for myself. It looks as if DD is supposed to stay for the whole afternoon to meet the minimum hours requirement.

Her impression is you need to turn up for the first hour but can leave at break time - which may be the case unofficially, once you've been marked as present...

Have you looked into alternative provision? There are a few farm based placements near me that combine working with animals with a bit of school work.
When she hits 16 you could look at The Kings Trust (formerly Princes Trust) for support and ideas.

The King's Trust runs a 12 week self development programme, but it is full time so you can't combine it with tutoring.