Help me find a dress for my 15yo!

[beaconhead]

Hello hive mind. I have an almost 16 year old daughter who is going to a wedding in a few weeks’ time (early Oct) - a relative of my ex partner. We are struggling to find her something suitable to wear. Her dad saw fit to let her run wild with his credit card at a designer store 🤦‍♀️ and she came out with an extremely revealing (and clearly cheaply made) viscose halter neck affair, obvs designed for an adult. It does not fit her properly and is frankly obscene. It is going back.

She likes very revealing clothing generally, which we argue about constantly. I consider it entirely inappropriate generally for a multitude of reasons, and in this case particularly, as I feel it’s wrong for the occasion. I am trying to teach her to dress to suit her shape, and that less is more when it come to flesh on display. It is an uphill struggle.

I know she would wear something that cinches in her waist and covers her top well. I can’t find anything that fits this bill. Please help! She is slim, has a tiny waist but is very busty, average height. Budget is £100-150 for a whole outfit including bag and shoes - the other dress was twice that but I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to spend that much on a single item of clothing at her age (or at mine for that matter!).

Thanks!

Honestly, the wedding is of a relative of the ex partner and your ex partner is willing to pay for the outfit so I'm wondering if this is a situation where you should step back and let them manage it. Your daughter is 16, I know this stage is incredibly difficult to navigate but it does strike me as quite controlling especially setting a budget when your ex is happy to pay. With respect, why do you get to override him? Surely that's between them.

I look back at the things I wore at 16 and cringe. Emo, ill-fitting etc but they were part of me growing into my style.

I can see if it is very revealing or white, explaining why it isn't appropriate and setting sone parameters but then do let her choose and if the ex is paying as it's his relative let him set the budget.

That’s singularly unhelpful, thanks!🙄

She’s a child - my child - and it would be negligent of me to knowingly let her attend an occasion dressed in a way where she would potentially be vulnerable. Her dad lives in a different part of the country and even if he had time to sort this out, will freely admit that he is unable to support her with these things. Re the budget, I consider it a question of core values - it isn’t right to spend crazy money on fast fashion - ethically, environmentally or practically - it doesn’t teach her the value of money, of which we don’t have limitless supplies.

I just wanted some suggestions of alternative dresses!

Have you looked at Hollister? My DD sounds like a similar shape and she has had some nice dresses from there. Depends how "formal" a dress you want, I guess.

So the wedding is someone in her Dad's family and (presumably) he'll be the person responsible for her at the wedding. He's bought her an outfit that she chose. That's what she should wear IMO. It's certainly not something for you to waste your energy on if you won't even be there.

I’d suggest Hollister as well, would still probably be a bit more clingy than you like but sometimes it’s not worth the battle!

Urban Outfitters are good as well we got my DD a dress for a christening there which we both liked!

I’ve explained to my DD that yes, she can wear what she wants in principle, but sometimes you have to dress appropriately for the occasion, otherwise you’ll get there and feel really self
conscious.

Is it worth meeting her half way and getting something for the wedding ceremony that is more appropriate and then something else for the evening reception?

ClubLLondon
AX Paris
Quiz

These are my go to places for weddings

I don't think the quality is brilliant but my daughter got a nice dress from Quiz for my cousin's wedding. It didn't look cheap but it is polyester.

Which dress did she buy so we can determine her style and maybe suggest something a little more age appropriate.

https://www.quizclothing.co.uk/dresses

https://www.allsaints.com/women/sale/darma-floral-print-mini-dress/W018DC-9850.html

https://www.quizclothing.co.uk/occasionwear-wedding-guest?pageIndex=0&productProperties.filterDefinition=Product+Type_Product+Type_Dresses_28305_0

www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1308742002.html