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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

A level students and social lives

9 replies

Nix32 · 07/09/2025 22:33

17 year old DS passed his driving test in July and has been enjoying his freedom - out with friends every night.

We’re struggling to rein it back in again now that school has started.

How often/how late are your Year 13 teens out, both during the week and at weekends?

OP posts:
BrunchBarBandit · 07/09/2025 22:45

Mine was out a lot during the summer - maybe 5 or 6 afternoons/evenings a week.

He’s pretty motivated about exams and university though and now he’s back I can see the study time building up. I trust him to manage his time re study/social life as he did this well last year. He’s got a lot of parties coming up so we’ll see how he manages that.

His curfew is 10.30 normally or midnight by special arrangement (eg party). I’m prepared to extend this now he’s in year 13, but he hasn’t asked yet 🤫

BeachLife2 · 09/09/2025 09:47

BrunchBarBandit · 07/09/2025 22:45

Mine was out a lot during the summer - maybe 5 or 6 afternoons/evenings a week.

He’s pretty motivated about exams and university though and now he’s back I can see the study time building up. I trust him to manage his time re study/social life as he did this well last year. He’s got a lot of parties coming up so we’ll see how he manages that.

His curfew is 10.30 normally or midnight by special arrangement (eg party). I’m prepared to extend this now he’s in year 13, but he hasn’t asked yet 🤫

I find it absolutely extraordinary that you have a year 13 who accepts a curfew! It’s totally inappropriate.

He will presumably be off to uni next year and will need to learn how to balance his academics and socialising without any involvement from you. You need to seriously unclench.

BeachLife2 · 09/09/2025 09:50

Nix32 · 07/09/2025 22:33

17 year old DS passed his driving test in July and has been enjoying his freedom - out with friends every night.

We’re struggling to rein it back in again now that school has started.

How often/how late are your Year 13 teens out, both during the week and at weekends?

Tbh you are not going to succeed in ‘reining in’ a 17 year old. You can cajole him for sure, but by year 13 they need to be self-motivated and working towards their own goals.

Even if you put him under lock and key, he will be off to uni next year where you won’t be able to control him. He needs to develop his independence and self-discipline.

bootbootboot · 09/09/2025 10:00

Talk to him, tell him your concerns about his work/life balance and ask him how he intends to keep on track of his A level work? He needs to learn to rein in his going out, he needs to solve this for himself.

As everyone above says if he cannot do this now he is going to be even worse if he is off to uni.

This is the point where you are guiding rather than dictating. You have to hope you raised him by seeing the value of his education.

BrieAndChilli · 09/09/2025 10:19

DD is now in year 13. During the summer she probably went out a couple of times a week then also went to a couple of concerts, plus reading festival. We live in a small town so not much for teens to go 'out' and do and they dont want to hang around drinking in a field.

Only been back to school a week but has not been out at all. partly as ill (still recovering from a nasty cough due to all the dust at reading!) and also as her group of friends seem to be fairly sensible and will buckle down for a few weeks. Think there are some halloween parties planned for half term.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 09/09/2025 10:33

Once I was 18- a week into Year 13- I no longer had a curfew. All my parents asked was that I let them know when I’d be home via text. I studied when I needed to and stayed in to do it when I needed to because I was self-motivated about university. But I don’t think that it’s reasonable to treat a Year 13 like a child with a curfew because next year they’ll be at uni, doing whatever the hell they like.

BrunchBarBandit · 09/09/2025 11:14

BeachLife2 · 09/09/2025 09:47

I find it absolutely extraordinary that you have a year 13 who accepts a curfew! It’s totally inappropriate.

He will presumably be off to uni next year and will need to learn how to balance his academics and socialising without any involvement from you. You need to seriously unclench.

Show quote history

Read my post again and don’t worry about how I am preparing my kid for the next stage of his life. We’re all good here.

PickingFruit · 11/09/2025 22:23

DD17 has just started Y13. She stays at school for an extra hour Mon-Fri. She says it helps her to manage her workload. She went out a lot over summer - most days were planned. She’s not planning on going to Uni and she’s fairly focussed on getting through the next 10 months…

PickingFruit · 26/11/2025 22:48

DD Y13 goes to the gym 2x a week after a full day including revision. She’s with friends/ bf/ work Friday to Sunday midday then generally preps for her week. She’s pretty independent. As her grades are good, she’s happy with her progress. No plans to go to Uni

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