DS17 wants ADHD assessment

[TeenAssessment]

Agghh wrote a long post and lost it!

In summary my lovely DS17 says he thinks he may have ADHD - specifically an attention deficit profile rather than hyperactivity. I agree that he exhibits some common symptoms, but I am not certain.

He is increasingly struggling with education now he's at 6th form, and did underperform at GCSE due to a lack of effort/focus. He doesn't have a history of behaviour problems at home or school but he is a 'space cadet'.

He said to me - which slightly broke my heart - "I want to know if I have ADHD or if I'm just lazy."

We have close family members with ADHD diagnosis - including DH's sibling (and likely one of DH's parents) and a nephew on my side of the family.

Do we pursue an assessment? Is he just jumping on a bandwagon fuelled by the TikTok algorithm? Even if he is, should we get an assessment anyway to put it to bed one way or another?

Ps: don't be afraid to go private. Many of the private Psychiatrists doing assessments also work in the NHS. Mine did. And I was 'rediagnosed' by the NHS, just several years later!

We couldn’t find a GP that would accept taking on the prescription

Yep, absolutely. I work in the NHS (not clinical) so I am aware they are the same doctors just doing their private practice 🙂

How old was your child? I've read that GPs can be reluctant in younger kids. I guess we'd need to cross that bridge if/when we come to it.

Has he done the screening test on ADHD UK?

I was late diagnosed ADHD earlier this year - so much of my life, experiences and behaviours make sense now and medication has helped - but what has helped more is just knowing and being able to research and understand why I feel like I do and identify coping and support strategies. I also now understand why the usual organisational strategies have never worked for me and can seek out solutions that are ADHD specific.

I won't go into too much detail here about how it affected me (happy to talk via PM if it helps), suffice to say that despite my undiagnosed ADHD I did well at school, uni and in my career because I find some things really easy - but my ADHD has definitely been the cause of a number of issues which have affected all areas of my life. It all came to a head when I suffered a period of burnout which I now know was due to a combination of peri-menopause and undiagnosed ADHD but which very nearly resulted in a complete breakdown.

Despite the medication I still struggle and haven't yet fully got the condition managed but I am in a better place than I was because I know why.

My biggest regret is knowing that I did ok despite my ADHD but wondering what could have been if I didn't have it or had it diagnosed as a child and received the right support - I almost certainly would have more money in the bank and would most likely have had a very different career.

My 13 year old DD heard me talking to DH about my diagnosis and recognised some of the issues in herself. I had thought that she was probably ADHD but hadn't voiced this out loud to anyone. She took it on herself to do the screening tests and when it came back with a score that suggested she should get an assessment, she came and asked me if she could.

We are currently working with the school to get her an assessment - the problem is, she is so bright (scarily so) and engaged at school and masks really well, that none of her teachers can see it. But the mask comes off completely when she is at home, so we see the outpouring of anxiety, stress, taking on too much, perfectionism and impulsiveness.

We are using some ADHD techniques which are helping regardless of whether she is formally diagnosed. If she doesn't have it but the techniques help, then no harm done. If she does have it, she may be fine without medication, but she wants the assessment because she hates the not knowing and lack of certainty.

For my part, I want her to know so that if she does have ADHD and she starts to find things more difficult as she gets to GCSE's, A-Levels and uni, she can access the right support. I don't want her to be in my position in 30 years time, looking back and knowing that she could have achieved so much more.

Thanks for sharing @BloominNora. I am not sure if he's done the screening test - maybe? I know he has done some, but I am not sure about their quality/legitimacy. I'll take a look at the ADHD UK one though, thank you.

This is the Adult one that is recommended by the NHS: https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

I don't think there is a specific one for children but this is the list of signs and symptoms for children: https://adhduk.co.uk/about-adhd/

@TeenAssessment

psychiatry uk move you to a shared care agreement once they are satisfied you are on the right dose for you. Typically (but it varies depending on the individual and how they respond to the medication) 3 or so months. But 2 things to think about. One is to call your GP and check that they do take on shared care agreements. Mine was fine but a friend’s said they wouldn’t. Also .. the initial assessment cost is the start of it. Then there are one or two consultation appts if you want meds (around £140 from memory). After that you pay 80 a month just for being on their ‘books’ so to speak, 25 a month for a prescription and then you pay for the meds (my DSs are 80 a month)

This is all only for a period thankfully but needs to be factored in.

I assume others are similar. This is just psychiatry Uk

Echoing what others said, as someone late-diagnoses (AuDHD in my case).

The other thing I always say on these threads, given the waiting lists etc - imagine he had a diagnosis today. Other than meds, what would you do differently? Whatever it is - implement it or suggest it. No harm in trying - eg an organisational system that's good for ADHD brains, or putting routines in place so there's less strain on executive function. Automating certain things.

Thank you - I just did it with him and he scored 5 on part A and 5 on part B. It's says 4 or more on part A indicates symptom highly consistent with ADHD in adults. I know it's for adults, but as he's 17 the questions worked for him in a way I can see they wouldn't for a 6 or 7 year old.

I also did it and got 4 on part A and 6 on part B...

Thanks for this info - much appreciated. I will check with our GP about shared care agreement.

He was diagnosed at 20 and was. 21 when he asked for an NHS prescription- the practice at home wouldn’t take it on and neither would the practice at his Uni town - he tried quite hard to get is resolved but they refused to give him meds unless it was an NHS diagnosis. So I’d get on the NHS waitling list and also get tested privately if you have the cash. Ds was very annoyed to be taking up a precious assessment spot on the NHS when he already had a diagnosis but it’s either that or a lifetime of paying for his own meds.

There are now peer reviewed studies showing that some of the online assessments for ASD are extremely reliable. I just googled and the same appears to be true for ADHD. They are not a definite diagnosis or not, but they help people orient themselves to the right formal screening.

They can also help a person feel less lost while going through the arduous screening process. just knowing a diagnosis is likely can help a person mentally access suggested solutions to their condition. Knowing that you aren’t bad goes a long way towards doing better.

So yes, help him get an assessment. In the meantime, suggest he check out the available online resources, though if he is a teenager he probably already has done that and knows a formal diagnosis is likely.

My biggest regret is knowing that I did ok despite my ADHD but wondering what could have been if I didn't have it or had it diagnosed as a child and received the right support

This!! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 53. I had zero clue that I had it. Never even crossed my mind and it was only when I was interviewed by a psychologist for some coaching at work that he picked up that I probably had ADHD. My employer eventually paid for me to get a private assessment as my NHS GP wouldn’t even refer me (“as they’ll only give you amphetamines and we don’t really advise that”!!)

To an outsider, I probably look super successful (I earn 6 figures in Financial Services and have worked in what many would consider to be ‘flash’ or ‘glamourous’ roles/locations), I’ve competed in a sport at international level, I’m qualified as a fitness instructor and have all sorts of random hobbies and interests as well as speaking multiple languages and apparently being very funny and super-sharp. 🙄 But OMG the price I have paid to get this far and the struggle and the constant “what the hell is wrong with me?!”. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! The repeated burn-out. The risk-taking. The partying. The screwed-up personal life. The obsessions. The spending. Everything is black or white and taken to extremes or not taken at all. I made a conscious decision years ago to remain single because I found romantic relationships just too painful/intense so that means I’m single, unmarried and a family is/was obviously off the cards. If I’d been diagnosed as a teenager and got some support, my life could have been very different. Like your son OP, the wheels started coming off for me around age 16. But I hid it. I went to uni a long way from home. I moved overseas. I never knew or understood why I am the way I am. Until my diagnosis and now it all makes sense. I don’t necessarily like it but I understand it and no longer beat myself up. I try not to have regrets about how different my life could have been if I’d been diagnosed when I was a teenager but….it is what is.

Now I have to decide whether I tell my 82 year old father that not only do I have ADHD but that I’m 99.9% certain that he does too. I’m not sure I want to put him through that.

My DD waited till she turned 18 and went to Psychiatry UK via right to choose at the GP, it still took over a year but faster than the normal
NHS wait. She is on the waiting list to start meds now. Our GP was non-committal about meds when we asked for referral, we'll have to see but it is a concern.

@HundredMilesAnHour I'm in the same place with my Mum in her 80s who I am certain has ADHD too and possibly autism, now with her memory starting to go it is not a great combination and I wish she'd had support when younger. She was immobilised following a fall when she broke her hip a few months ago and it was horrendous as keeping constantly on the go is her usual coping strategy, but on the other hand she was back in the gym in 2 months so pros and cons!

Before ds got diagnosed he was going a bit mad with it all - knew things weren’t right in his head, was worried he was suffering from some kind of psychosis, his anxiety was through the roof. Everything made sense when he got the diagnosis and the drugs. His life is on a much steadier course now.

"Ill informed attitude - probably resulting from your own SM algorithms."

Disagree with this- I think it's refreshing to see a parent who's a little sceptical of the various labels.

I agree, I am a bit skeptical but I am also 100% on my kids' side so I can't dismiss this out of hand either, especially when I've got evidence stacking up in front of me.

@HundredMilesAnHour thank you for sharing that - it really touched me. 💐

Totally get where you're coming from, @TeenAssessment
I hope I didn't come across as dismissive.